If communicating your feelings to your boo is tricky enough in person, adding a screen in between you can feel like trying to navigate an obstacle course. Regardless of how much you love your boo or how long you've been dating, when you're
having trouble expressing your feelings, texting can feel extra hard.
Texting can be a great way to communicate quickly and check in during the day. However, trying to unpack large emotional topics on such a little screen can sometimes prove to be, well, challenging. If you're
not sure or you're feeling so many different things about something that it would be impossible to capture it all in a single text, asking your boo to speak in person or over the phone is always OK. Additionally, stating that you need more time to unpack where your head is at or letting your partner know that how you're feeling about something you will reach out when you are ready keeps everyone on the same page as you move through your relationship ups and downs.
If you need some inspiration, I've collected seven texts to send when you're
struggling to express your feelings about something to your partner.
If you have a lot of feelings about something but you're not sure how to articulate them or you have no idea exactly what it is you are feeling about something in the first place, crafting words together into a text message can feel
impossible. Rather than stress about how your tone may be perceived or how you want to word something, ask your boo to speak on the phone. Literally talking to your partner can allow them to hear your voice inflections and better understand what you're feeling. 02
I need time to sit with my feelings about this, I'll reach out when I'm ready.
Texting can be extra stressful when you're feeling pressured to respond immediately. Rather than rush through whatever you're feeling or forcing yourself to say
something when you're not sure what you want to say, tell your partner you need a minute to think about what you're feeling. Moreover, adding that you'll reach out when you're ready establishes that you can take all the time you need and that you're not dodging your boo by taking a while to reply. 03
I'm not sure how I feel, I'd love to talk more in person.
If a text conversation starts to get more intense or emotional than you'd prefer, offer to move the conversation to an in-person chat later in the day or week. Talking face-to-face will let your partner read your body language and see your face, and can give them extra insight into your feelings.
When you *insert specific thing* it makes me feel *insert specific feeling.*
This type of texts works for all sorts of emotions! Whether you feel super loved when your partner texts you good morning or you feel super ignored when your partner takes a day to reply to you, a cause and effect-like text can be straight to the point. Getting as specific as possible about a certain action and the specific feeling it provokes can help you express what's on your mind in little chunks.
I think you are so *insert compliment* and *insert compliment* and I am so happy to be with you.
If you totally love your boo and you're not always great at being affectionate or you're not sure your partner knows how much you care, try sending short compliments. Something like, "You are so cute and fun!" or, "I love how smart you are" is a great way to give them some loving in a short and sweet way.
I'm not feeling OK about *insert thing* and I need some time and space to think about it.
If your boo upset you and doesn't know it or you're sad about something and they think everything is fine, it can feel intimidating to express to them that you're not cool with whatever thing happened. Rather than pretending you're fine, or not bringing up that you're upset about something, saying something brief like, "Hey, I'm not OK about how our last conversation unfolded," establishes that you aren't feeling good without pressuring you to literally define how you're feeling.
It hurt my feelings when you, *insert action*
Being as concise yet specific as possible is another great way to open up to your partner when you're not feeling well about something. Rather than a long intro like, "I don't really know how to tell you this, and I'm sure you didn't mean it, but I'm kinda starting to feel like.... " getting straight into it with something like, "It hurt my feelings when you didn't make the dinner reservation," can get right at the heart of what you're feeling.
If talking about your feelings doesn't come easy to you,
texting about them can sometimes feel impossible. If you're not feeling the messaging, ask your boo to speak in person or on the phone, or share that you need a day to get your thoughts together. You deserve all the time and space you need to express yourself, no matter what you're feeling.