My thoughts on dating in today’s world, in short: It’s pretty brutal out there, TBH. Between the f*ckboys, the ghosters, and the breadcrumbers, you never know when you might be let down. Just days ago, you were fantasizing about spending a weekend with your new potential boo at your parents’ lake house this summer, and now you’re scratching your head over whether you’ll ever see them again. Basically, it feels like a constant guessing game — so if you’re anxious about dating, you're not alone.
Not to mention, while our digital devices have made it easier than ever to meet people with some mere swiping, they’ve also made it easier to reject someone without actually giving them the respect of being honest about your disinterest. If you’ve been wounded in the past, there’s always the fear that you’ll emotionally invest in someone only to be hurt or let down by their behavior.
The fact is, dating brings us so much anxiety because we care about it. And that’s a good thing. If we weren’t worried about the results, that would obviously mean we don’t place much value on finding what we want — whether that's "the one" or "the one for right now." Hopefully, it's a tad reassuring to know that we're in this together: While our dating fears may differ, we all have them. Here’s what some women had to say about their current dating anxieties. Trust me when I say they're relatable AF.
People who are socially awkward. I’ve had great chemistry with someone I met on a dating app via text, then we meet in person, and it’s honestly like pulling teeth trying to keep the conversation going. It’s like, wait — who was that person I was exchanging witty banter with all week?
— Kensie, 29
On all the dates I have been on so far, I've been treated as if I'm choice #2. Option B. The backup plan. And after it happening again and again its killed my self-confidence. Why am I not enough?
And so I've developed this fear of dating. What's to stop the next one from doing the same? Am I just a side chick or the one? Does he actually like me or is he just lonely and looking for a rebound?
A lot of people my age have already been through successful relationships. They may have lasted a few months or a couple of years, but they had something. I have nothing. Nothing but a few dates that lasted a week maybe before they found someone else or ghosted.
I've never been in a relationship, I don't have that experience. And I feel like a teenager applying for my first job...but all the employers are turning me down because of my lack of experience..but how else am I supposed to get that experience if no guy gives me a chance? They all seem so focused on chasing the next best thing than working with what they already have.
Everything? Literally had three people agree to go out on dates with me and the outcomes were:
1. Stood up twice
2. Great first date, then ghosted since (been over a week now)
3. Boring date, agreed we weren't compatible
At this point I'm just completely lacking in confidence.
Letting someone get close. I can't be vulnerable.
No one said dating in the 21st century would be easy. So while you're hesitating to redownload dating apps for the 12th time, nervously considering bailing on that blind date, or agonizing over what to text your crush, remember: You're not alone in your struggles. Besides, no risk, no reward — right? Sure, there's a lot to be anxious about when you obsess over the potential pitfalls. But the prospect of meeting someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are — well, that makes all the awkwardness and angst well worth it in the end.
