If you thought deciding how to split the holidays between your family and your partner's was a nightmare, just wait until you and your partner disagree on spring break plans. Trust me — the latter is worse because by now, you've just about had it with the cold weather. Anyone who dares to get in the way of you and the beach is asking for it, even if that person is your adorable partner whom you love during most other months of the year.
Imagine this: Spring break is coming up and you've already stocked your online carts with cute bathing suits and Insta-worthy beach towels. But your partner has other plans. They're thinking less laying out in the sun and more, well, literally anything else. So far, they've pitched a hiking trip, a skiing trip, and a weekend spent foraging in the forest. OK, fine, some people call that last suggestion "camping," but, like, really?
Before you contemplate whether or not this is the end of your relationship, consider these three tips. There are lots of actual reasons to break up with someone but I truly don't believe disagreeing on vacation plans is one of them. What can I say? I'm an optimist. Don't hit send on that breakup text without trying these tactics first.
Make A Pro-Con List
This is some Rory Gilmore-level strategizing. I'd like to point out that in Season 4 of Gilmore Girls, Rory makes a very last-minute decision to head to Florida for spring break. She ends up tagging along with a group that had made their own plans and basically regrets everything from the minute she gets in the car. All I'm saying is don't let this be you.
If you and your partner envision something totally different when you think of the ideal spring break, take a few minutes to consider your options. Working together, come up with a list of pros and cons for both of your ideas. To keep things fair, each person should agree on whether the items being added to your lists are actually pros and cons. For example, if you think an obvious pro of your beach vacation is getting a tan and your partner disagrees, respect their opinion.
While you should make allowances for each other's preferences, this isn't an opportunity to tear down the other person's ideas. If you find yourselves getting angry or annoyed, spend a few hours doing something other than planning for spring break. Spring break is important but it isn't exactly a relationship deal-breaker.
Try To Reach A Compromise
If you're going away with your partner, it's safe to say you're pretty serious about each other, which means this probably won't be your last trip together (assuming you get through this debacle). If you spent the December holidays with your partner's family, they should be willing to do what you want to do for spring break. When summer rolls around, you can let them plan your next getaway together.
The key to making this work is letting the compromising partner know that you respect their interests even if you don't necessarily want to spend your spring break in the mountains with limited cell service. They should know that you are more than willing to add this to your summer itinerary.
If you're in a position to do so — if you are financially equipped and you believe your relationship will still be going strong in a few months — make some concrete efforts to put their plan into action. For example, you could decide on the best time to go or even book your Airbnb together.
As for your upcoming spring break trip, you should make an effort to get both parties excited about it. If you have agreed to go along with your partner's plans, look into nearby activities that you might also enjoy while you're there. Things will be a lot less tense if you both have something immediate to look forward to.
Don't Hold A Grudge
Once you've made your decision (and even during the decision-making process), make sure there's no animosity between the two of you. For example, if the compromising partner feels like they were bullied into agreeing to the other's plans, they might spend the entire trip complaining. This is bound to ruin spring break for both of you so confirm that you're both comfortable with your decision before heading off on your trip together.
I know going away — especially for spring break — with your partner sounds like the best way to make the most of your college experience but remember that college is also about becoming your own person. If, for some reason, you and your partner can't agree on how to spend your break together, take a break... from each other. Feel free to plan a spring break getaway with your friends or a staycation by yourself, instead.
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