OK, so you were totally expecting a proposal this holiday season, and it hasn't come yet. You and your partner have been talking about marriage for awhile. They may have even dropped hints that they were getting you a ring, but the holidays are almost over and you find yourself ringless and totally confused. You're not "crazy" for expecting something, so don't panic at all. There could be any number of reasons why your partner didn't propose, but you're probably worried something is up. You want to know how to stay calm when your partner doesn't propose.
I know telling someone to calm down when they're stressed out does not help at all, but hopefully taking a deep breath can help give you a second to better understand what is up and how to deal with it all. The holidays are a stressful time already, and you were probably working yourself up waiting for that surprise. You probably even made sure to keep your nails well-manicured in the event that you would need to snap a certain pic for all of Instagram to see. Now, you're upset and confused with your flawless nails. Hopefully these seven things will help you better understand what's up, and get back to feeling better again. It's the holidays after all, and it should be the most wonderful time of the year. Don't let any ring stop that for you!
1. The Proposal Should Be A Surprise
Your partner knows you better than anyone else. They may have suspected that you were expecting a proposal, and have now decided to wait. Yes, it's torture, but when they finally do propose, you'll be so excited that you weren't expecting it at all.
2. They Didn't Want To Be A Cliché
You can make yourself feel better by knowing your proposal won't be a cliché. So many people get proposed to around the holidays. That's probably why you were expecting it in the first place. When they finally do ask the big question, you'll know yours was totally unique.
3. Don't Get Upset At Them Right Away
I know the impulse is to cry or scream or just retreat back into yourself and be really, really disappointed. Try to hold it back. You've been stressing about a proposal, so I'm sure that doesn't help, but nothing good ever comes from lashing out. If you feel yourself getting upset at your partner, step away. Don't engage if you're coming from a place of anger. Being upset is a totally valid feeling right now, but try take a breather alone to yourself first.
4. Be Open And Honest
Once you find yourself being less angry, now is the time to approach your partner. If you feel like you have talked about a proposal and were expecting one, it's totally fine to bring it up. Honesty is needed in a relationship, so be open with them about how you feel right now. They should be able to ease any worries you're having about your relationship.
5. Don't Succumb To The Pressure
Being surrounded by family during the holidays doesn't help when you were expecting a proposal, but didn't get one. You love them, but your family can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on you. They don't know your relationship like you do. Maybe they just expect a marriage after a certain point, but maybe that's not you.
Don't succumb to your family's pressure on where you should be in your relationship right now. You and your partner are doing your own thing on your own timeline.
6. You Deserve To Treat Yourself
The holidays are stressful AF. Not only are you dealing with buying presents for everyone, dealing with your family, and having to play host to all these holiday events; but you were also under the pressure of expecting a proposal at any minute. That's too much to handle.
You definitely need a day or two to just treat yo' self. Plan a spa day where you get a massage and a pedicure. You need to unwind from this stressful time.
7. Try To Remember It's Not About The Ring
As much as you want the ring and the wedding, you have to remember it's not everything in a relationship. Yes, you have made plans to settle down together and that's probably why you were expecting a holiday proposal, but you have to remember your relationship is what truly matters. It takes a lot to get married.
Maybe your partner doesn't feel financially stable right now, or they come from a family of divorce and marriage is hard. The thing that does matter is you are together, and if your relationship is good, then you don't need a wedding to confirm that.