I am currently in my first serious relationship ever, and to be honest, one of the most surprising parts of the experience is how much you're physically capable of caring about another person's feelings. When your partner is sad, you're sad. You want to do everything to help them. Unfortunately, figuring out exactly
how to help your partner when they're sad isn't as straightforward as we'd like it to be. That is, until now. In a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies shared the ways they support their partners when they're feeling down, and I have some of their best tips here for you.
Read along and remember these next time your partner is in need of some serious cheering up.
Leave little presents around for them to find later.
Back rubs, just sit and listen to him vent, feed him, leave him small presents to find after I go to work.
Encourage them to go outside and get some air.
When he's stressed I encourage more outdoor time for him, usually to take walks or play sports with his group of sports buddies. That gets him out of his head. Discouraged has us working as a team on whatever the problem is. Lots of positive talk paired with constructive action. Switching off the urge to wallow and switching into productivity. A small personal reward can also help, like a batch of brownies after e-mailing targeted resumes. Sad means I give him his space, hugs and kisses when he wants them, comfort food for dinner, listening to him talk.
Don't try to force them to talk.
I play with his hair and rub his ears; most of the time talking about it only stresses him out more, so I just do things that soothe him physically and let him talk if he wants to. Never try to force a discussion about a stressor, it generally only makes things worse.
/u/Mediocre-banana He likes to talk about his feelings and things that are going on. So usually we will go for a walk while he talks and sometimes asks for my input. If he does ask for my input I will give it other than that I will just listen. If it’s been a stressful week for him I’ll make sure I say hey I’ll be at this coffee shop or restaurant feel free to join. Putting the option out there usually means he ends up joining and it helps.
Send messages of support.
I usually give her hugs and cuddles, and a listening ear. If she's not with me in person then I usually send her supportive messages, hug stickers and memes.
/u/WhiteTigerZimri I give my SO really long hugs, like 20 seconds+ so that they force him to stop and breathe for a minute. Sometimes that's all it really takes for him to feel a little better. Physical touch is also his love language though, so it probably depends on the person.
Give them all of your attention.
Let them know you're there for them.
I used to try to fix the problem or offer solutions, or tell jokes thinking he needed to laugh, but one deep conversation after I sensed he was more stressed with my actions, I asked him what did he want me to do, and he responded, “just tell me I’m here for you” and so now I simply listen. If he wants to talk about it, he will. I find that he confides in me more now than before.
/u/friendzoneJojo Cuddling without talking. He doesn't love verbalizing his stress or sadness and prefers if I sit next to him and do my own thing whilst rubbing his back and legs.
Get them something small to cheer them up.
I like to buy him a lame gift that he's not expecting. It shows you care, without him feeling guilty that you spent money. Last night I got him a Kinder Egg at the checkout and gave it to him after he worked all day. Cost me $2 and it made him really happy haha. To me its really about super small things that show you are thinking of them.
/u/dnaols Make him food. Bring him treats. Listen. Give him lots of love. Try and get him out if the house to distract him.
/u/thehalflingcooks My boyfriend comes from a very conservative culture - mental health is seen as unimportant and something that should be kept private. He has a lot of trouble just venting out but I'm helping him through it and he feels a lot better after venting his problems out instead of just keeping everything to himself. Just cuddling is guaranteed to make him feel a lot better
/u/rat-baby I do chores and run errands for him. I'll fold his laundry, clean up the kitchen, cook him food, pick up food or a prescription for him at the store. When he gets stressed or sad, it's harder to do those simple tasks, but its any easy thing for me to do to help.
OK, now go off and be the amazing partner you were meant to be.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV. Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!