How Often Should You Go On Dates In A Relationship? Experts Lay It All Out
Once you and your bae are official, settling into a date-night rhythm can take a bit of trial and error. Naturally, as the relationship begins to grow and evolve, adjusting your date-night habits accordingly is an important part of keeping the relationship momentum moving in the right direction. If you're trying to figure out how often you should have date nights, then kudos to you because so many people forget to devote time to keeping things on the up-and-up, only to find that while they were busy with other things, their relationship fizzled out.
And while every couple is different, there is definitely a general number of special evenings out you should shoot for depending on how long you've been in the relationship. If the thought of going on "fancy" dates with regularity sends a shockwave of panic through you (and your wallet), don't worry. These date nights don't necessarily have to be expensive. But, if your bae really enjoys the finer things in life (who doesn't, TBH?), then affording a bougie-ish night out from time to time is definitely attainable if you can both be disciplined enough to cut costs in other areas. But regardless of the cost, if the date planner's heart is in the right place, then anything they do to make date night feel a little special every so often will be greatly appreciated.
1. If You've Been Together For One Month
One month into a relationship is just about as fresh as it gets. At this point you're probably still having a ton of fun finding out new things about each other every day. To keep the growth on the up-and-up, seeing each other often is the main goal.
"Set aside time for a regular date night once a week so you can continue to get to know each other, it doesn't need to be fancy, especially at only one month in," Michela Hattabaugh, Chicago-based matchmaker at Three Day Rule, tells Elite Daily.
While early-on in a relationship can def feel like a financial drain as you're both trying to woo one another, there's nothing wrong with getting creative as opposed to just focusing on taking them somewhere expensive every weekend.
"I recommend saving 'fancy' date nights for celebrations such as birthdays, promotions, or finishing a huge project at work at this stage," says Hattabaugh.
2. If You've Been Together For Six Months
"At this point the relationship is leaving what some people refer to as the the 'honeymoon'" phase,'" notes Hattabaugh. "You've gotten to know each other better and it is ok if the amount of date nights decreases a bit."
While the initial intensity of things has probably simmered down, this definitely doesn't mean you should stop treating yourselves as much as what feels right for your relationship.
According to Hattabaugh, making sure you're both doing your best to still spend enough evenings together is the most important thing during this phase.
The "right" amount is simply however many feels good to both of you.
3. If You've Been Together For One Year
Passing the one-year milestone is definitely something worth celebrating!
"At least once a year a couple should plan on vacationing together to allow them to rekindle the romance by reconnecting to one another on an intimate basis," author and relationship expert, Alexis Nicole White, tells Elite Daily.
So if you've been together for over six months, this could be a great time to start planning a romantic vacay. As for date nights, the one-year mark is the perfect time to start revving up the spontaneity.
"This is a great time to incorporate a 'surprise' date night for no specific reason," says Hattabaugh
Planning a secret surprise is a great way to mix things up so they don't get too stale, she says, and to ensure your bae is still feeling special.
4. If You've Been Together For Two To Four Years
"Within two to four years, I would recommend twice a year of special [romantic] events," suggests White. "But [also] incorporate a monthly date night outside of the house, family, and work-related events."
Let's keep it 100 — two to four years with one person is a long time, and at this point you both are likely to have had moments of boredom with one another. So, putting in effort toward special occasions and just-because dates becomes an important part of long-term relationship maintenance.
5. If You've Been Together For Over Five Years
Wow, if you have been with your bae for over five years then hats off to you because we all know that maintaining a relationship for that long is a major accomplishment.
And while it's safe to assume you've probably had a few ups and downs by this point, the key to keeping the bond alive is finding new ways to keep things fresh.
"Actively learning something new about your partner or creating new experiences is an important part of any relationship, regardless of the stage or length," Tyler Turk, CEO and founder of Crated With Love, tells Elite Daily.
According to Turk, after you've been together this long, you've probably learned the large majority of things there are to learn about your partner — which is why, at this stage, "'fancy' dinners or romantic rendezvous are more important than ever."
"They give you a chance to ignore the world, and focus on each other, and offer a much needed moment to grow closer together," explains Turk.
So there you have it. While there are certainly no hard and fast rules when it comes to how often a couple needs to live it up, doing so with some regularity is definitely a great way to keep the bond going strong. Relationships are work, and even the "easy" ones require some amount of effort and maintenance, so make sure you're always doing your best to keep your SO on their toes.
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