If you're like me, you probably spend most of your brain power and waking hours trying to figure out how to make your career and personal life goals come true. Because you're amazing and you deserve everything and more, I'd say that's a very worthwhile use of your time and energy! Since having a vibrant sex life can be part of having a healthy life in general, you might wonder how to make your sexual fantasies come true, too. Since fantasy isn't reality because it's, well, fantasy, you might not be able to manifest your go-to sexual daydream down to the details, but you can certainly get close.
When it comes to sexual fantasies, you might have one favorite or have multiple favorites — and both are completely normal. Your desire of choice has a lot to do with your past experiences, personal preferences, and understanding of norms and taboos. And, of course, the kind of fantasy you gravitate towards can also have to do with your zodiac sign! While sexual fantasies might be scenarios you've never actually experienced, there are a few things to consider when making your dreams a reality.
Let's say you don't want to play out a specific fantasy down to the details, so instead try to identify what about that particular fantasy really turns you on. Is it a feeling of power? Freedom? Dominating your partner or them dominating you? Once you've figured that out, you can then recreate that feeling in a sexual scenario. Whatever your fantasy is, and however you choose to approach your partner about it, here are a tips straight from multiple sexperts to help you bring your sexual fantasies to life!
In general, being honest and communicative with your sexual partner is always a good idea, and that's especially true when experimenting and trying new things in the bedroom. Kristen Lilla, a sex therapist who specializes in kink and polyamory, suggests having the conversation with your partner outside of the bedroom.
Lilla told Elite Daily, "I always tell people to have these conversations not in the bedroom or in the moment. I will acknowledge that sometimes, when people are really sexually aroused, it’s easier to share your fantasy with somebody," Lilla says. Be mindful that your partner might not be into your idea, and try to be respectful of their choice.
Once you discuss your fantasy with your partner, it's a good idea to be prepared for your sexy encounter. If your fantasy includes props like a blindfold, handcuffs, or food — have everything ready so you can really be present in the moment. When experimenting in the bedroom, having a safe word is also a great idea. Lisa Hochberger, sex therapist and relationship expert, told Elite Daily, “Safe words are an important boundary for sexual play because it provides a clear way for a person to communicate with their partner(s) that they are uncomfortable with whatever sexual behavior is currently taking place."
When it comes to bringing your sexual fantasies to life, you might not need to necessarily recreate your specific fantasy to have the desired experience. Stephanie Alys, sexpert and Chief Pleasure Officer of Mystery Vibe, told Elite Daily, "Fantasizing doesn’t have to translate directly into your sex life. You may have an elaborate fantasy about being dominated in a dungeon. In real life, you may only want your partner to tie up your wrists during sex. It can be helpful to pick out pieces of the fantasy, or simply keep exploring in your mind."
Part of the thrill of a sexual fantasy could be the secret intimacy of keeping your thoughts to yourself. But sharing those thoughts with your partner and bringing your fantasy to life in your actual sex life could be super hot, too. If you're considering sharing your fantasy with your partner, Alys told Elite Daily, "It can be quite intimate to share fantasies with your partner and it’s a great foreplay activity. It can also be a helpful way to explain why something turns you on."
Whatever you decide to do, keep chasing your dreams, honey!
