Here's How To Get A Relationship In 2019, Because You Deserve Exactly What You Want
Whether you feel ready to jump back into the dating world after a breakup, or you're gearing up for another year of dating, you may be considering how to get a relationship in 2019 as we approach the new year. You see other people in relationships, like the adorable rom-com couple Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean Song Covey, or friends of yours in real life, and you might want a version of that bond for yourself... so how do you do it?
Finding a relationship comes down to luck and timing. And while those factors are mostly out of your control, there is some work that you can do. You can focus on self-reflection, take action, shift your mindset, and come to terms with a healthy dose of rejection. Most of all, you can build your self-esteem so that you'll know without a doubt that you'll always be OK — no matter what your relationship status is.
If you want to have that special someone in your life, you may have to chase after it, instead of waiting for that person to come to you (unless you're some sort of relationship magnet, in which case, I'm jealous). So read on for expert-approved ways to turn your desire for a satisfying, fulfilling, loving relationship into a reality in the new year.
Get in the right mindset.
If you're on the hunt for a relationship, know first what you're looking for and what you deserve. Once you have your mind set on what you want, you won't settle for less than what you deserve. With an idea of what you want from the relationship, you'll be more focused on getting that.
“It is absolutely essential that your partner respects you and that you respect your partner,” relationship expert Laurel House told Elite Daily. “A lack of respect can lead to insecurity, feeling not good enough, shutting down, retaliation, acting out, resentment, and the relationship ending.”
Open yourself up to being in a relationship literally.
In a literal sense, be open to meeting people. When you're in class, at a bar, or volunteering, if someone starts talking with you, feel out the conversation and see where it goes. Maybe try making eye contact with someone who you think is attractive and see if that leads anywhere. If you get nervous super easily in social settings, try putting your phone down to step outside of your comfort zone. Any of these may invite someone in.
Be OK with possible rejection.
Along the way of finding a relationship, usually comes pitstops of dating other people. While you might find someone you want to be exclusive with off the bat, it may not work out with that person. Don't let this setback stop you from finding the person you could have a great relationship with, and keep on searching for that.
"Remember that this is only one person, and though [possibly] significant, the fact that they no longer love you [or didn't initially] does not mean that you are unlovable," Susan Winter, relationship expert, told Elite Daily.
When you find someone you like, don't back down.
It's totally understandable if you haven't been in the dating game for awhile — or you have and feel a little discouraged — that when you do find someone you're into, you're scared of what it could mean. The potential of getting hurt may tug at you to not move forward with dating that person, but think about what could happen if it does work. That in itself could be enough to motivate you to go for it.
"Unconsciously you fear the very thing you want — a strong desire to have a deep emotional connection with someone," Relationship expert Dr. Gary Brown told Elite Daily. "You have an unconscious fear of being open and vulnerable, which is really the cornerstone of any true intimate relationship."
Define the relationship.
If you're dating someone for some time, the way to bridge the gap from casually dating to an exclusive relationship is to have that define the relationship conversation.
"Once you’ve got a strong connection, are talking and texting daily, it’s a good time to let the person know you’re enjoying the direction your relationship is going in," Julie Spira, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, told Elite Daily.
After that conversation, it's possible you have a relationship, which is exactly the thing that you wanted. Mazel tov!