When I started my freshman year, I wasn't too concerned with how to find a relationship in college right off the bat. Sure, I found my roommate's friend from home cute. And yes, he did later become my boyfriend. But honestly, I was more focused on excelling in my classes, going through sorority recruitment, and figuring out how to live in New York City. My story goes to show that just because you're not looking for a relationship, doesn't mean one won't find you.
While my relationship with my college partner may have somewhat fallen into my lap, the other connections I made were through a wide variety of circumstances. When you're constantly meeting new people every semester, you never know where you might meet someone who could become your partner.
For example, some people meet their significant others in the classroom. It's the perfect place to get to know someone — from study groups and project partners, to simply reaching out to ask what the homework assignment is — you can easily spend a lot of time with your classmates. Plus, having a class together may mean you find similar fields interesting.
"[My partner and I] met the first day of freshman year – our first class had that 'turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself,' and we were sitting next to each other," said Reddit user Thoughtdotcom. "Then we found out we had two more of the same classes."
You can find a relationship in college by simply doing activities you enjoy. Whether that means doing an extracurricular activity on campus, or volunteering nearby, you're bound to meet like minded people.
"Try getting into a new hobby that you've always wanted to try," Reddit user Sixcount said. "I met every guy I've ever dated through new hobbies (Kendo, dance, and then flight school). That way, when you do meet someone that you're interested in, you automatically have a conversation starter, because you're both learning about the same thing."
"I have a [master's degree] in International Affairs and my wife is an artist," said Reddit user Asrama. "We met while we were both coaching swimming as our 'side hustles.'"
But this isn't the only way to meet potential partners in college: For some, online dating can prove successful.
"Online dating has been where I've started most of my relationships," Reddit User Snapkangaroo said. "I'm incredibly shy or there aren't many men at the activities I'm interested in joining. It's not easy but has proven successful. I met my current S.O. online, and now we live together."
Dating apps can allow you to swipe right on people you may recognize from your dorm or the gym. Since it can be easier to start up a conversation online rather than IRL, using a dating app may allow an introvert to more confidently make the first move.
Every college is different, and there's a "going out" scene for everyone. Not all people go out with the intention of hooking up, but it's certainly a way to meet people, which could turn into a relationship down the line.
"I met my boyfriend at a bar," said Reddit user Nattywap. "Some women don't want to be approached there. Some don't mind being approached and some even do the approaching. Knowing body language and social cues is key." Make sure if you're approaching someone in a bar, you acknowledge and respect their verbal and physical cues that they want to continue talking to you, or are not interested.
Going to college is overwhelming: with so many new people to meet and opportunities tor try, the dating pool can sometimes feel intimidating. But take it slow, and wade your way into the water.
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