You never got the last word, and it’s killing you. Now, you’ve had plenty of time to reflect on everything your ex said or did wrong, and you’re itching to dump it on them. It may seem like this will bring some sweet satisfaction, but before you start furiously typing away, remind yourself that reaching out to the ex to prove a point simply isn’t worth it.
“If you noticed that they just landed a big break in their business or found out their in a new relationship via social media, do not try to minimize or challenge the authenticity of what they are creating for themselves,” says Trescott. “Making them feel small will never, ever make you look bigger.”
So instead of focusing your energy on breaking them down, work on building yourself up.
If you feel tempted to text your ex but know you shouldn’t, Shapiro says it’s important to distract yourself, whether by socializing with friends, going to the gym, pursuing your hobbies, or going out and meeting new people.
“Make active steps toward moving forward,” she adds. “Join a new dating app. Ask out someone you’ve had your eye on. Making steps toward building your future can feel helpful when you are tempted to slide back and text your ex.”
If you really feel stuck on your ex, Shapiro advises making a trip — a new setting may help to shake up your perspective.
“Take a road trip, book a vacation, or take time to visit old friends,” she says. “Removing yourself from reminders of your ex can be helpful and having a different physical environment can allow you to see new places, new things, and new people and also serve you in terms of building and improving the next phase of your life — without your ex!”
Just to clarify, it’s totally fine to want to text your ex. When someone has played a significant role in your life, it takes time to adjust to their absence. You may find yourself wondering “what if?” Curiosity gets the better of you, and next thing you know, you’re typing away and hitting send. But in some instances, reaching out to your former flame may only extend or exacerbate the pain. Ask yourself what your motive is in texting your ex. Be honest with yourself about how you’re going to feel if you don’t get the response you want. And remember: time heals all wounds.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!