Just when I thought the "Thank U, Next" music video was undeniably the best YouTube video on the platform, Ariana Grande's "Thank U, Next" Fragrance video debuted, and OMG, this one wins hands down. Inspired by the original music video — which was inspired by Mean Girls, Bring It On, Legally Blonde, and other iconic early 2000s classics — the new video features Ari fans gossiping about exactly what's in her newest perfume, named after the greatest breakup anthem to date. Is it pear or coconut? Juicy raspberries? Sea god musk? Actual ponytail clippings? Apparently, only Ari knows for sure.
I truly cannot explain how funny I found this video, and if you haven't seen it yet and are looking for a good laugh, I highly suggest you watch it ASAP. It will be the best one minute and 14 seconds of your life. Just as the original video began with "high schoolers" (Mostly YouTube stars) spilling tea on Ariana Grande in a Who-Is-Regina-George fashion, this video has all the "hot goss" (another Mean Girls reference, props to me), this time about her newest perfume. There are at least a dozen quotable lines from the short clip, some of which I'm debating getting tattooed on my body for life.
My fave? "I heard she swam with actual mermaids in the Bermuda Triangle, and convinced them to give her the velvety musk of their new sea god":
And of course, "Supposedly she uses juicy raspberries in it, so I've only been eating juicy raspberries for months so that my breast milk will taste like her perfume smells":
One bold gossiper shocked me with the following claim, that, "Rumor has it, she put part of her ponytail in it":
Which (to my sheer and utter delight!) she then did:
I truly cannot believe this is a thing that exists. Is it too late to nominate this for Most Outstanding Short Film of the Year? It'd be a shoe-in for the award.
There's even a Bring It On-inspired scene in which Ari gets pushed:
Yes, I mean physically pushed:
Clovers win! Toros lose! Bye girl!
Grande also rocks her cheer uni in another scene, during which she declares, "Honestly, I'm not the biggest Ariana Grande fan, but I do hear the new fragrance is... somewhat promising":
This is true cinematic magic, y'all, and we are blessed to have it presented to us. Grande even dedicates pages in her Burn Book (which is now apparently some sort of a Compliment Book?) to all her previous fragrances.
She calls Cloud "THAT fragrance," and claims it "got the other girls shaking":
If watching this video doesn't immediately have you placing an order for the Thank U, Next Eau de Parfum ($62, ulta.com) on the Ulta site, then IDK, I guess you're a hater:
Thank you, Ariana, for blessing us yet again with another iconic video. Seriously, thank you so much. I don't have anything else to say, really. I just want to go watch the video again.