Here's How To Tell If Your Standards For Finding Love Are Too Low

by Candice Jalili
Originally Published: 

Let me ask you a question: Are your standards for dating and relationships too low? It's not always easy to have an objective look on your own behavior in any situation, let alone your love life. But getting what you deserve romantically is undoubtedly important.

Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles, told Elite Daily that there are certain “baseline needs” every single one of us needs in their relationships. According to Brown, a few of these needs are kindness, trust, gratitude, the freedom to be vulnerable, and a dedication to emotional connection.

Respect is also pretty huge. “It is absolutely essential that your partner respects you and that you respect your partner,” relationship expert Laurel House told Elite Daily. “A lack of respect can lead to insecurity, feeling not good enough, shutting down, retaliation, acting out, resentment, and the relationship ending.”

Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman also highlighted the importance of love and respect to Elite Daily. “A healthy relationship requires love and respect,” she said. “If you aren't feeling those from your partner, it's important to recognize that you need more.”

So, are you getting all of this in your relationships or even your situationships? Well, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, real ladies share the signs that your relationship standards are too low.

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You Let Them Treat You In A Way You'd Never Let A Friend Treat You
Too low when you accept treatment/behavior from a partner that you would never accept from a friend.


You Settle For "Attainable" People Who Don't Treat You Well
you go after people you think are attainable, or who you are more attractive than. they end up treating you like crap. you figure you didn't shoot low enough, and end up getting treated even worse by the next one. the only way out of this trap is raising your standards.


You're Always Complaining About The Person You're Dating
You find yourself frequently complaining about the people you date.


You'd Rather Be With Anyone Than Be Lonely
When you sacrifice self-respect for the opportunity to not be alone


You Excuse Their Bad Behavior
Too low is accepting mistreatment and excusing it or staying with a partner who isn't actually compatible even if it's not blatantly a bad relationship you're stringing each other along due to just not wanting to be alone.


The People You Go For Don't Treat Themselves Well
As far as low standards, you have to pay attention in how the treat others and themselves and in terms you will essentially have a guess on how they will treat you. If they treat themselves sh*tty and are a**holes to the people they are supposed to close to then move on to the next person. That’s usually in what I personally look at when I’m seeing myself being interested in someone.


You Let Them Hurt You In Various Realms Of Life
Too low when you allow them to hurt your health, happiness, etc.


You Leave Out Certain Details Of Your Love Life To Your Friends
If your partner does and says things that you would not tell your friends about because you know “how it sounds” and you find yourself leaving things out to not make them sound bad, your standards are too low. Don’t take things from your partner that, if your friend told you about theirs, would upset you.


You'll Date Anyone Who's Down To Date You
Too low is willing to date anyone who shows any interest in you, doesn't matter what their personality is like. Sadly I've known too many women to do this. I wish they had higher self-esteem and self-worth.


Relationships are built on mutual respect. It's important to value the person you're with — but even more importantly, they need to show you through their actions and words that they believe in your value, too.

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