After Living With My Boyfriend, Here Are 5 Surprising Things I Learned About Relationships
After moving in with my boyfriend, I have to say I was pretty surprised by how well our habits seemed to mesh. I had heard so many horror stories about how moving in together was "the kiss of death," so needless to say I was a bit on edge. Living with a boyfriend for the first time is filled with so many unknowns that it's easy to assume things are going to be a certain way, only to find out that you were very wrong.
I firmly believe that you don't really know someone until you've lived with them. Even looking back on living situations with platonic friends who I could've sworn I knew better than anyone — you see a different side to someone when you come home to them every night. This can be a really fun journey to embark on with someone you love, but not without the occasional fight over whose turn it is to clean the toilet.
If you think you and your bae couldn't be more compatible, finally moving in together is a great way to put that compatibility to the test. The most important thing that living with someone has made me realize is that a having a harmonious life together might mean being willing to do things you might not want to do to make each other happy. Even if that means cleaning the toilet twice in a row because they refuse to concede that it is in fact their turn.
1. Cooking Is Way More Fun
As someone who hated cooking with a passion, moving in with my boyfriend was just the push I needed to turn over a new leaf. Having someone to lurk around in the background while you're making dinner and steal noodles while you're not looking is the best.
Plus, in general, I would say that most guys are pretty easy to please in the food department. My boyfriend's reactions to even my most mediocre meals makes it so obvious that he really must love me, if he's willing to pretend my burnt cauliflower is perfectly crispy.
And the kitchen ain't just for the ladies! Your bae may very well also have a few tasty signature dishes of their own to whip up when you're not feeling like cooking.
2. Living Together Doesn't Mean You Should Stop Dating
Moving in together shouldn't mean that you both stop putting in work to woo each other. Naturally, you're going to get comfortable and not go out quite as much as you used to, but it's still important to keep the push-and-pull of excitement going. As amazing as having someone to chill on the sofa with is, it will def get old after a while. There's nothing like hitting the town with your partner in crime, and getting to come back to your own place to watch Netflix and snuggle.
3. You're Going To Need Time Alone And Some Personal Space
Living with your bae is awesome! But of course, like any other roommate, there are going to be times when they become the most annoying person in the world and you just can't deal. Getting on each other's nerves sometimes is totally normal.
Take little arguments as an opportunity to remember that you both have other friends and things you can do on your own. Sometimes, you just need to have a girls night and they need to chill with their boys.
It's also a good idea to establish your own "zones," whether that's separate closet space, separate dressers, or even just your own book shelf. No matter how much you love someone, keeping your identity and autonomy as an individual is so important. Having your own space, even if it's small, is a great way to maintain some privacy,
4. If You Vibe Well, The "Big" Things Aren't As Big As You Thought
I know...bathroom business can be one of the scariest things when you first start dating someone. You know that they know that pooping is a thing, but the thought of them being in the same building when sh*t goes down (pun, very much intended) can be too much to bear. Eventually, one of you will rush to the bathroom directly behind the other and walk right into a cloud of funk. Yum!
Then you'll tease them about it, wait a few minutes for the smell to disappear to wherever smells go when they stop smelling, and move on with the rest of your life. It's truly, honestly, NBD.
5. You'll Learn A Lot Of Little Things About Your SO
Most people have things they get weird about. Maybe it's their phone charger not being where they left it or a sentimental ukulele their grandpa gave them when they were little that is never allowed to leave its case. Either way, after living together for a bit, you're going to find out about the things that they are fussy about. And while it shouldn't be a big deal if you use their stuff, being respectful of their things is super important.
And the same goes for your friends. Make sure you always ask before letting your BFF borrow something of your partner's.
Living with your SO for the first time is so much better than having a rando roommate. You basically have a live-in BFF to make the fun moments funner and to turn cleaning into a low-key dance party. But just like any other milestone, it also comes with a bit more responsibility and flexibility. If you can make it work, you're stronger together than you think!
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