7 Rejection Texts To Send If You Want To Be Friends After A Date That Lacked Romantic Chemistry
As cliché as it might sound, sometimes you meet someone and you're better off as "just friends." While it might seem daunting at first, letting someone know that you'd rather just be friends is actually super mature. It means you knew yourself well enough to recognize that the good energy, convos that flowed easily, and shared taste in music would be a perfect foundation for a platonic relationship — but not a romantic one. Good for you! Next step is letting them know where you stand. When it comes to rejection texts to send if (you want to be friends), you've got to strike the right balance. You'll want to be straight-up (so there's no room for confusion), and civil enough to leave the door open for friendship.
As dating coach Erika Ettin told Elite Daily, "The two keys are tact and honesty when letting someone down. While someone might be disappointed that you don't want to go out again, [they] can't really be angry at you for feeling, or not feeling, how you do." Here are seven texts to you can use to reject someone gently after the first date, while still sparking a potential friendship.
Straight to the point
For starters, you can send the other person a text that simply touches on the fact that you'd rather just be friends. If you're reaching out first, some examples include:
- "Hi! I had fun last night, but I don't think we have romantic chemistry. I'd still like to be friends, though!"
- "Hey, just wanted to follow up about our date. I'm sorry, but I just don't feel a romantic connection. I am interested in a friendship with you, though."
By mentioning that the connection you felt wasn't romantic, you can strike up a convo about your platonic chemistry.
If they end up texting you first, you can say something to the effect of:
- "Last night was great, but I’m not interested in you romantically. However, I do want to keep hanging out with you and doing [insert activity here — whether that's seeing a movie like you did on your date, going to the same bar for trivia night, etc.] because I really do want to be your friend."
- "I'm flattered and happy that you had a good time. I'm not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.m but I definitely want to be you friend."
Here, you can acknowledge that you did have a good time and that you'd be looking to have some good times with them in the future — you just want to do that as friends, not lovers.
A little more explanation
If you're not comfortable with a text so short, you can give them more context to why your date lacked chemistry (although, you don't owe them anything). You can send them a text like the following:
- "Hey! I've thought about our date a lot and I think we'd be better off as friends for [insert reason here]."
- "Hey! Thank you for following up on the date! I had a lot of fun, but I'm not interested in continuing our relationship in the romantic sense [because XYZ reasons]. I hope you understand! Do you still want to be friends?"
Tread carefully with this format. Dr. Susan Edelman, a psychiatrist, previously told Elite Daily, "We all know rejection is part of the game, but self-esteem and confidence shouldn't take a hard hit when you turn someone down." When giving reasons why you're better off as friends, you should not go in on them! But you can be honest — especially if there's a specific reason your date lacked chemistry or compatibility that you picked up on.
A little dash of sugar
And lastly, you can take a sweet approach. “If you can include some kind of compliment, it can soften the blow,” Edelman told Elite Daily.
You don't have to give the other person an explanation, and you absolutely don't have to make up a nice trait about the other person if you're not feeling it. That being said, if there is something you like about them that makes you still want to be their friend? It wouldn't hurt to put that in your text.
- "I think that you're a [insert a complimentary adjective here] person that I like for [these particular reasons]. That being said, I just didn't feel any romantic chemistry between us, so I think we're better off as friends. Are you open to that?"
In a sense, including what you like about them can confirm for them that yes, you did hit it off — just platonically. It can also remind them that there's nothing wrong with them, but you two are just not romantically compatible.
The biggest thing to keep in mind when crafting this text is say what you'd want to hear if you were on the receiving end of it. “Ideally, you want to treat others the way you want to be treated," Edelman said. "It's one way we can all make the world a better place.”