You only need to watch one episode of Sex and the City to know that a vibrator is a girl's best friend (you know, besides her actual best friends). Watch a few more, and you'll learn how easy it is to become accustomed to a certain pattern when getting yourself off. If you do masturbate regularly, you've likely gotten into a comfortable routine for doing so. You probably don't bother changing it up anymore, because you know what you like. Or maybe you're too busy to masturbate at all, let alone try a bunch of new masturbation technique ideas. Pro tip: You don't always have to be in the mood or feel turned on from the get-go to have a great solo sesh. More on that below.
Whatever your reasons are for wanting to shake up your orgasms, these masturbation techniques are definitely worth trying out. In fact, you really should experience all seven by the time you are 25. At a quarter of a century, you deserve fun sex toys, an expansive knowledge of your body, and a thorough understanding of how to have the most amazing orgasms ever. Yes, you might be just as addicted to your rabbit vibrator as Charlotte was in that classic episode from season one of SATC, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to broaden your sexual horizons. Here's how.
You've probably heard about the female G-spot, but have you successfully located yours? "Most women get hooked on their clitoral anchor from a young age, which prevents them from unlocking their vaginal orgasm during sex. In order to reverse this clitoral anchor, try exploring your elusive G-spot during masturbation," says Courtney Cleman, sex and relationship expert and co-founder of The V. Club. While it varies from woman to woman, she says you can usually find your G-spot on the anterior wall of the vagina about two to three inches inside.
To locate your G-spot, insert a finger and bend it toward you in a gentle "come hither" motion. The key to locating your G-spot is to already be aroused. Otherwise, it will hide from you, Cleman explains. Once you're stimulated, the tissues swell and the G-spot is more pronounced (and more pleasurable). You can tell that you've found it because the area will be bumpier to the touch, as it has more ridges than the rest of the smooth vaginal lining. Plus, if you're turned on, it will feel amazing.
If you're up for it, why not try your hand (ha, get it?) at a 30-day masturbation challenge? Mix up your self-pleasure routine every day for 30 days. "It's a self-care routine that will not only improve your sex life (it will make sex much more orgasmic), but it can also improve sleep and decrease stress and anxiety," says Cleman. As she points out, there really is no better way to practice self-care than to masturbate. Like, you are literally taking care of yourself and your needs.
Cleman and The V. Club also recommend giving kegel balls a go. You know, those silver balls you saw Anastasia Steele use in Fifty Shades Darker. You can use these toys by yourself or to get turned on before having sex with a partner. "The key is to put them in 10-15 minutes before sex in order to give yourself time to get aroused. You can even wear them while you're getting some housework done or meal prepping for the week," says Cleman. Not only can kegel balls lead to more intense orgasms, but they also work to strengthen the muscles of the vagina and pelvic floor. Talk about productive, pleasurable multitasking.
Using a two-pronged vibrator to masturbate with is the best way to stimulate your clitoris and your G-spot at the same time. If you want to achieve a powerful orgasm, Cleman suggests investing in a We-Vibe product like the Nova for dual stimulation. The classic rabbit shape is combined with the most up-to-date technology (there's an app!), is USB rechargeable, and includes 10 preset vibration modes. It's also eco-friendly and completely waterproof. You can't ask for much more out of your vibrator.
"Everyone needs something different to get in the mood," says Cleman. If you're a visual person, watching erotic scenes on your laptop is nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to porn, though, you can pick and choose what kind to view. I'm not talking about the category, but rather the way the videos are filmed and how the performers are treated. Porn can work to educate its viewers about sex, for better or for worse. Unfortunately, performers are often underage, paid very little, put in unsafe working conditions, and overall not treated with respect. By paying for and watching ethical porn, you can support those in the industry who are working to make porn more feminist. Check out Erika Lust, Joybear, or Cindy Gallop's Make Love Not Porn. It's also important to do your own research and discover what sites you like.
If you're more into words than images, you can read erotic fiction. There are tons of websites that offer sensual stories and explicit content. And like Cleman says, it's never too late to try something new. Even if you don't think you're much of a reader, erotica can be a huge turn-on. And I'm not just talking about Fifty Shades. There is a whole world of erotic stories out there, from short scenes to lengthy chapters. Give it a try — if it doesn't end up being your thing, at least you'll know for sure.
Believe it or not, you don't always have to be "in the mood" to masturbate. "Oftentimes, women are so busy that they put taking care of themselves on the back burner," explains Cleman. "However, we often find that after we go through some of those initial masturbatory motions, we relax enough to enjoy the experience. Sometimes pushing yourself may end up being exactly what you needed." Scheduling masturbation sessions may not sound super sexy, but if it's what you need to do to make yourself relax, so be it.
Women usually start exploring their bodies based purely on instinct and what feels good, according to Cleman. It's important to change it up and try new techniques often. One of Cleman's objectives when starting The V. Club was "to empower women to explore their own bodies and understand how their anatomy works so that they can feel confident to say what they want and need in the bedroom." And I, for one, fully support that goal.
