Remember poor Pamela, the patient from Grey's Anatomy who suffered from spontaneous orgasms? She literally could not stop coming, and it happened at the most inopportune times. Unless you have the same unfortunate condition as Pamela, I think it's safe for me to assume that on average, you're not having as many orgasms as you'd like. I don't usually make broad generalizations, but this statement is an exception. You can always have more orgasms, right? Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's nothing that clears your head and relieves your stress quite like a good O. And after a year like 2017, you deserve to go into 2018 feeling positively about something.
If you do want to have more orgasms in the coming year (sorry, couldn't help it), you're not alone. This goal can feel rather lofty, so I suggest breaking it down into smaller, more achievable resolutions. From taking the time to get to know your own body, to keeping up with your kegels, there are so many opportunities for orgasms that you could — and should — be taking advantage of. Put these five steamy New Year's resolutions on your list, and you're guaranteed to have a (bed) rockin' 2018.
1. Strip Down Solo
Light some candles, close the blinds, and have a good, long solo session. Masturbation isn't something you need to be ashamed of — it's a habit you should embrace. By getting in touch with your body and learning what turns you on, you can better communicate your needs to your partner.
If you can't find the time to even try to come, consider making it a higher priority. Put pen to paper and schedule at least two Os a week, either by yourself or with a partner. If it's on your calendar, it becomes a totally valid commitment.
2. Be Vocal In Bed
I'm not talking about faking orgasms here. Resolve to verbally express what you want in bed. If you've hesitated to tell your partner that their oral technique isn't working for you, or that you secretly want to try anal, now's the time.
Don't be afraid to guide your partner, and not just with your actions — if you're into what they're doing, let them know. Try positive reinforcement like, "That feels amazing." If they try a new move and you're not quite feeling it, gently speak up. You can say, "I really liked what you were doing before. Can we try that again?" If you frame your comments about what they're already doing right, you won't hurt their feelings.
3. Get Hot And Sweaty
Yes, sex is technically a physical activity, but I'm talking about getting your heart rate up in other ways, too. In addition to the obvious health benefits, working out can also lead to better sex. A study done at the University of Texas found that those who exercise regularly are more sexually satisfied. If that doesn't encourage you to hit the gym, I'm not sure what will.
4. Have More Intense Orgasms
In between workouts, try a move you can practice without going to the gym. Experts swear by kegel exercises, which strengthen the muscles in your pelvic floor, and in turn make your orgasms more intense. Make it a habit to do sets of 10 kegels three times a day (morning, afternoon, and night) to maximize the benefits.
To find the right muscles, try to stop urination midstream. After you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, you can do kegel exercises in any position. It may be easiest to do them lying down when you first start.
All that a kegel consists of is tightening your pelvic floor muscles, holding the contraction for five to 10 seconds, and then relaxing for five to 10 seconds. To get the best results, focus on just tightening your pelvic floor muscles, and be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs, or butt. You should breathe freely during kegel exercises.
5. Splurge On A Sex Toy
If you have yet to invest in a vibrator, now is the time. If you already have one, why not get an upgrade? Skip happy hour one day a week, or simply set aside $20 from every paycheck. Before you know it, you'll have enough money for that fancy vibrator you've been eyeing. Saving up for a sex toy you can use by yourself and with a partner gives "good vibes" a whole new meaning.
With these tips, you can make 2018 your most pleasurable year yet.
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