Being broke is rough, especially during the holiday season. I mean, I have a hard enough time as a single gal — how the heck are you supposed to get your S.O. a gift you know they'll adore, while also showing how much you love and appreciate them, without spending a million and one dollars? If you've been asking yourself the same question, don't stress! I've got you covered. Enter this list of sexy, free gifts.
First off, I'm guessing you could give your partner a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck and they'd still be head-over-heels for you; they're in this relationship for you, not your gift-giving skills. But if you want to give them something a little more meaningful — and a lot more intimate — without spending a dime, you totally can. It just takes a little creativity, and possibly the musical styling of Ginuwine (you'll see).
Here are five sexy gifts that are sure to make your partner blush and spice up both of your holidays. But best of all, like J. Lo's love, they don't cost a thing.
"Jingle Bell Rock" their world.
If you've got a Santa Hat handy, wouldn't it be hilarious (and undeniably hot) to re-enact the Plastics' classic "Jingle Bell Rock" dance for your boyfriend or girlfriend? I'm pretty sure everyone in the English-speaking world knows that number by now, anyway — and your partner is sure to be both turned on and chuckling throughout your performance. Just try not to kick a stereo at their head or anything.
Make a book of naughty IOUs.
Get creative and put together a coupon book of sexy IOUs for your partner. It can include everything from a lap dance (see below) to a night in the bedroom where they get to call all of the shots. Maybe even print out a few descriptions or diagrams of exciting new sex positions and throw those into the mix. It's truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Give them the Magic Mike treatment.
Even if neither of you can make it rain right now, why not give your partner a little strip-tease routine, free of charge? Throw on "Pony" which, while we're on the subject, is one of the greatest songs of all time) and blow their mind with a lap dance. They'll be begging you to come and jump on it.
Take some DIY boudoir photos.
Boudoir photo shoots have become such a thing, but there's no need to splurge on a professional session. All you've got to do is throw on a sexy ensemble (or nothing at all), prop up your phone up with something as simple as a stack of books and bottle of water, and take a bunch of steamy photos that will have your S.O. drooling (there are tons of free self-timer apps, like Retro Selfie, out there, too!). If you've got a frame handy, put your favorite shot in there, or just email or text your partner a folder full of pics aptly titled "All I Want For Christmas Is You." They'll be dying to give you a proper thank you.
Take your culinary skills to sexy new heights.
Shout-out to Monica Geller for the inspiration on this one. You see, there's an episode of Friends where Monica and Chandler decide to make each other's holiday gifts, and when Monica drops the ball, she promises to make Chandler anything he wants in the kitchen, and do anything he wants in the bedroom. It's genius, and so simple for anyone whose culinary skills exceed making grilled cheese sandwiches (i.e. not me).
Take it up a notch and work up your partner's favorite meal wearing nothing but an apron. Afterwards, you guys might just wake up in the kitchen wondering "how the h*ll did this sh*t happen?" like Beyoncé and Jay Z. Oh, baby.
Go on, girls. Have yourself a holly, jolly good time.
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