Alright, I'm just going to be real with y'all: I sucked at dating. I was nervous, awkward, and couldn't figure out a way to keep things flowing naturally. Now, if you can relate to this, then you've come to the right place, because I spoke with a real-life matchmaker for fun date ideas if you’re not great at conversation. Because honestly, everyone deserves to have a good time with someone special, even if you're not a natural-born talker.
Going on a date with someone can be a great experience, but if you're nervous about having to make small talk or having to discuss personal details before you're ready, then having a date plan that involves more activities might be the way to go. According to matchmaker and dating expert Stef Safran, it's totally OK if you're not good at conversation. But if you want to have more successful dates in the future, it might be helpful to practice.
"Preparation for dates is actually something that is learned," Safran tells Elite Daily. "Do comedians not prepare before they go out on a set? Of course not! You need to learn the art of small talk and understand how to read people's body language." But, even if you've improved your conversation skills, it can still be scary to sit through a two-hour dinner with someone new. With that in mind, let's take a look at these matchmaker-approved dates for people who aren't so great at conversation.
Apple picking may be a somewhat cliched fall date, but it's popular for a reason. Safran suggests apple picking as an excellent option if you're worried about a lack of conversation. Picture it: There's no way for there to be an awkward lull when you're in a beautiful location picking apples with a hottie. Talk about the seasons, your favorite apple recipes, take funny pictures — the opportunities are endless, and at the end of the day, you'll get a bunch of apples. So really, there's no way to lose.
Now, if apple picking isn't your scene, then give bar trivia a go, Safran suggests. Not only will there be alcohol to help calm your nerves, but the night will be spent answering fun questions with your date that aren't personal. Basically, it's another win-win. And if you suggest a trivia night date, then odds are you'll see a whole new (read: competitive) side to your date that you probably wouldn't have seen had you gone to coffee or a movie.
If you want a first date that will really rock both of your worlds (pun intended), then try something more adventurous, like rock climbing. "Rock climbing can be fun and a good way to do something instead of just talking," Safran says. Not only will you be doing something unconventional and exciting, but rock climbing can be a great way to establish trust with someone, and that's never a bad thing.
A classic date-night activity like bowling can help ease first-date tension. It's fun, it's simple, you can drink beer, and you can laugh at yourself and your date. Whether you're a master bowler or you tend to score in the mid-teens (yes, I'm talking about myself), going bowling is great for those who aren't big talkers.
At the end of the day, Safran suggests taking a deep breath and asking for some help if you need to. "Don't be afraid to ask for help," she says, and suggests trying to "be prepared when you go on dates." Putting together a mental list of some first-date questions could pave the way for relaxed, genuine conversation. So go for it! Plan a fun activity for your date, and don't stress too much about the conversation side of things. Have topics in mind to discuss if you feel comfortable, and keep busy doing something fun. You're a catch, and they're going to love being out with you, no matter how much you talk (or don't).
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