3 Tips For Avoiding Wedding Drama With Your Bridesmaids, Because It's Not Worth The Headache
In an ideal world, weddings would be completely devoid of drama. However, just like the actual marriage that follows the wedding, things are rarely as perfect as they appear in pictures. Bad news, brides-to-be: More likely than not, there's going to be some drama, and the bigger your bridal party is, the greater chance there is that a bridal party member is going to butt heads with another or, even worse, you. In order to get tips for avoiding wedding drama with your bridesmaids, Elite Daily spoke to Jen Glantz, aka Bridesmaid For Hire, who has plenty of first-hand experience when it comes to keep the peace with your bridal party.
I see them all the time: pictures of bridal parties during a bachelorette party or getting ready before a wedding, all wearing matching T-shirts or robes, and smiling at one another like they're the best of friends. But oftentimes, those individuals come from several different spheres of the bride's life and — due to their varied relationships with the bride — will have different expectations about what the bridesmaid role entails. According to Glantz, here are the three rules brides should abide by in order to make the experience as drama-free as possible:
1. Set expectations from the start
The most important thing to do once you've asked your bridesmaids to join your I Do Crew? Make sure your party members know what expectations you have for them leading up to the wedding so that there aren't any unpleasant surprises. "Let your bridesmaids know how much money, time, and energy you'll need of them throughout the wedding process," says Glantz. "That way tension and resentment won't show up."
Are your dream bridesmaid dresses $300? Do you want your bachelorette party to take place in Mexico? That's fine, as long as your crew is on the same page. But be mindful of your party members' budgets and schedules as well. If your expectations for them are unrealistic, then perhaps you need to adjust them rather than find a wedding party that's willing to fulfill them.
2. Let them know that it's OK for them to give input
Unless you want to earn a reputation as bridezilla, listening to your bridesmaids is important — and you should make sure they know that. "Ask them what kind of bridesmaid dress they want to wear and where they want to go on the bachelorette party," Glantz suggests. "Asking for their advice and suggestions make them feel a part of the bridal party even more."
Yes, you have your dream wedding in mind, but just as you need to take your friends' fiscal limitations into consideration, you should hear them out when it comes to their thoughts and suggestions. Perhaps that bridesmaid dress you picked out is a little too low-cut for their taste — wouldn't you rather know that and reconsider your choice than have them complain about it behind your back?
Have a plan to stop drama when it starts
Rather than going into your wedding planning process with the hope that no drama erupts, you should instead make a plan for how you'll deal with the almost-inevitable drama once faced with it. Figure how how you'll nip that drama in the bud rather than allowing it to fester and hoping it disappears on its own. "If there's tension or fights, end them at the start before the negativity and gossip spreads," advises Glantz.
Just remember: This is your special day, and if you choose the right bridesmaids to stand beside you at the alter, they'll respect how special this day is for you. But if you want this experience to be as fun for both you and your crew as possible, then being mindful, thoughtful, and flexible is key.