3 Signs You’re Not That Into The Person You’re Dating, & What To Do About It
It's easy to get excited about dating someone new, but sometimes, the rush associated with that feeling of newness really just isn't there. Maybe your new partner didn't meet your expectations, maybe you accidentally settled, or maybe you got caught up in the "idea" of someone who wasn't who they seemed. Ultimately, this could leave you feeling disappointed about the person you're dating and wondering what to do about it. The signs you’re not that into who you’re dating can range from totally obvious deal-breakers to the absence of more nuanced intricacies that can define deeply satisfying relationships. But, exactly how are you supposed to know for sure that there isn't a spark?
Knowing whether or not you feel strongly toward someone might sound simple enough, and in many ways it is — how you feel is how you feel. But it's also important to consider whether or not you really know this person well enough to decide if they're right for you, particularly if you two are a good match on paper. And let's face it, many of us are probably guilty of dating people who we aren't all that into for a ton of different (and perhaps slightly selfish) reasons. But if you find these three things to be true, then it could be time to make a beeline toward the nearest exit.
1. You Don't Regularly Look Forward To Seeing Them
"[If] you look forward to waking up next to [someone] and look forward to seeing them at the end of the day," this is one of the main signs someone is in a great relationship, Dr. Gary Brown, a Los Angeles relationship expert, told Elite Daily.
If you aren't excited to spend time with the person you're dating, then this could be a sign that you may not like them enough to warrant staying in the relationship. Now, this doesn't mean that it's impossible for your feelings to change, but the beginning of a relationship (aka, the honeymoon phase) is typically the time when most couples can't get enough of each other. If you're feeling wishy-washy about spending time with them regularly within the first few months of dating, this is definitely a red flag.
2. You Don't Get Each Other's Sense Of Humor
While neither of you may be stand-up comics, constantly finding yourself not quite jiving with their sense of humor could definitely be an issue.
Even though this might not seem like the most important thing in a relationship, dating expert James Preece told Daily Mail that it's a solid indicator of whether or not a relationship has what it takes to last.
"When this is in alignment, you'll be able to see the funny side of most situations and generally be more relaxed about what life may throw at you," Preece told Daily Mail. "Any arguments can be diffused and you'll appreciate each other much more."
3. You Don't Feel Lucky To Be Together
If you've ever been on the verge of falling in love, then chances are you know what it feels like to believe you're the luckiest person in the world, even if it's just for a short time. The rush of satisfaction that comes from knowing the person you're crazy about is also crazy about you will likely make you feel grateful and lucky to have them in your life, even if you're simply appreciative of the small ways they make your life easier.
"I always make it a point to thank my wife at least once a day for something that she did for me or our family," said Dr. Brown. But, if you're not feeling particularly thankful to call them yours or don't feel like your needs are being met, then it could be that they aren't the best fit for you.
Not feeling over the moon in love with someone you're dating doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship can't grow into an awesome partnership with time. Not every relationship is defined by an instant spark. Plenty of partnerships fall into the slow-burn category. But, if you've given yourself enough time to get to know them and still don't feel excited about the relationship, then it may be time to move on.
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