Roland Schitt and Johnny Rose sit a dining room table together for dinner in 'Schitt's Creek.'

28 Roland Schitt Quotes For IG That'll Have You Rollin' In Laughter


While the Roses may be your favorite characters from the series, there would be no Schitt's Creek without it's mayor and namesake, Roland Schitt. Roland loves to unknowingly annoy Johnny and gives out much unsolicited advice, which is why you need Roland Schitt Schitt's Creek quotes for Instagram. Some of the best captions are the ones that make your friends LOL, and the things that Roland says are sure to have you rollin' in the laughs with your followers.

Even if you're not the mayor of a fictional town, you can relate to Roland's love for his home and the solid friendship he makes with the Roses. Johnny and the Rose crew end up being very loyal to the Creek as well. But, when Johnny has to ask Roland for something, there's no denying it's quite the challenge.

That lovable annoyance is just the kind of vibe you need for a funny pic of you and your siblings, and that's where these Roland Schitt quotes will come in handy. A Roland one-liner will work so well along with a throwback selfie of you in your own Schitt's Creek. You could even use one of his snappy comebacks for a picture that has a ton of attitude.

Whatever the moment may be, use any of these 28 Roland Schitt quotes to give your post that extra bit of silliness it needs. Roll in the LOLs right now.


1. "If you're looking for an a** to kiss, it's mine."

2. "Dinner at our place. Problem solved."

3. "Why don't you wear an apron and serve the win to them on a silver platter?"

4. "I can't hear you, the motor's on."

5. "Well, somebody's in a little hurry."

6. "That doesn't make any sense. I know it's her birthday."

7. "I was thinking this morning, and I don't want to tell you where I was thinking."

8. "Well, if I find out that you're accusing me of doing something I didn't do, then I'm going to accuse you of making false accusations."

9. "Hello everyone, I'm Moira Rose."

10. "I've always wanted to be slapped by Vivien Blake."

11. "Is that a threat? Because I don't want to tell you how I respond to threats."

12. "I'll just take a bite of your muffin."

13. "I won't tell her."

14. "Well, what can I do for you, you dumb son of a."


15. "Oh sorry, we don't want it."

16. "Yes, Johnny, I understand the plan."

17. "My truck is your truck."

18. "This is a real 'Sophie's Choice.'"

19. "I'm just joking. Come on in. No, I'm not."

20. "I just think it's awfully short notice to start planning a fundraiser."

21. "What do you mean you're walking?"

22. "Pretend! It's fun time."

23. "Get the ball, Johnny!"

24. "You guys haven't ordered yet, have you?"

25. "I gotta tell you that suit, that's pretty dangerous to wear at a party like this."

26. "No, these are funny jokes. Please continue."

27. "If I tell you a secret, you promise to keep it?"

28. "I ordered the one with the highest alcohol content."