"Roses Are Red" Poems Are Taking Over Twitter For Valentine's Day & OMG I'm Crying

by Candice Jalili

Roses are red, violets are blue, is love really better than a quality poo? Roses are red, violets are blue, when you say you love me, is it true? Roses are red, violets are blue, one plus one always equals two. Roses are red, violets are blue, is our relationship only fun because it's new? Roses are red, violets are blue, people always have stupid things to do. Roses are red, violets are blue, when I tell my mom about you, she's gonna ask, "Who?" OK, I'll stop. "Roses are red" poems for Valentine's Day have been popular since we gave cards to everyone in our third grade classes.

Clearly, as you can see above, they are not my forte. I mean, don't get me wrong. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed putting those little poems together for you, but I'm not delusional. I am fully aware of the fact that romantic poetry writing is not a strong suit of mine. Luckily, there are people in this world who are far more talented than I am, and even more luckily, those people have Twitter accounts. What's so lucky about them having Twitter accounts, you ask? Well, in celebration of Valentine's Day, these talented people have taken to Twitter to share their "roses are red" poems with the world.

Some are beautiful, some are hilarious, some are just... scientific? But they are all wonderful.

Nothing says romance like bathing in hell, amiright?

Don't forget to check your smoke alarms today, people!

Ah, talking about fiscally unwise decisions is so romantic.

Soccer is the true essence of romance.

UGH, it's 2018. Stop generalizing. Ever heard of a yellow rose?!?

Not everyone is looking for love today.

Some people are still not over what happened two Sundays ago.

OMG, what could possibly be more romantic than someone saving two beers for you from their six-pack?

People are the worst. All of them.

Treat your planet with as much love as you treat your bae, if not more.

Who wants flowers when you could get sex organs?

Sometimes, you have to defend yourself.

Chilling in bed all day is the greatest form of self-care.

Anyone who likes their steak cooked well done is wrong.

Let's get the facts straight here, people.

Nothing says modern romance like a bunch of dudes in complicated relationships texting you.

Who's in the mood for a good haiku?!

Why do the violets always have to be blue?!

Want to know what's not sexy first date talk? Bitcoin.

Maybe you're already dead! SPOOKY.

Take that, Seymour!

Well, that's surely one way to someone's heart.

Being torn up by a crocodile would be a real bummer.

Was there any deeper, truer love song than this?! Seriously.

Like, just give it a listen.

For accuracy's sake...

Wanna know my favorite thing about these poems? Hardly any of them even had anything to do with romantic love. People are using Valentine's Day as a time to create romantic "roses are red" poems about all sorts of things they care about, from the environment to biology to their favorite NFL Super Bowl champs to the political issues nearest and dearest to their hearts.

It just goes to show that this is a holiday for everyone to celebrate. Even those of you who don't necessarily have a bae to hold tight this Valentine's Day. Roses are red, violets are blue, hey, single people, this day's for you, too!

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