Feeling badly about how you behaved during a fight with your partner can add salt to the wound. If you can’t wait until you’re face to face to clear the air, one simple way to smooth things over is to send your SO a quick message to let them know how sorry you are. But keep in mind that the best apology texts to send your partner after a fight are the ones that clearly demonstrate your remorse without making accusations or excuses.
Since you can’t hear each other’s tone of voice or pick up on any facial cues, there are so many misunderstandings that can happen in a digital convo. That’s why Chris Armstrong, the founder of relationship coaching company Maze of Love, says it’s best to do any closure-seeking discussions in person. If you want to get the ball rolling, Armstrong advises establishing positive intent. He previously told Elite Daily:
“Start with a couple of phrases, 'I would much rather have this conversation in person, but…' and, 'I realize that some of what I'm sharing is one-sided or through my lens, and I'd love to understand yours.'”
There are a number of ways to go about apologizing via text: You can either find some humor in the situation or take a more straightforward, sincere route. Whichever approach you decide on, consider one of these messages to make up ASAP.
Lighthearted & Loving
1. #Tacos&truce tonight? Feeling regretful, and I think you + guac is just what I need.
2. Hey, remember all those awful things I said earlier? If you could go ahead and erase those from your memory, that would be great.
3. Do they make a Hallmark card for occasions when you want to say, “Sorry, I’m the worst?” Asking for me.
4. [Insert selfie] A portrait of a person who’s feeling remorseful AF.
5. Someone once told me that genuine apologies are sexy, so here I am, letting you know I’m sorry and crossing my fingers that turns you on.
6. Is it too late now? [Insert link to Justin Bieber’s “Sorry”]
7. Hello... it's me. I was wondering if after all we said you'd like to meet to go over everything?
Serious & Sincere
8. Since “sorry” probably isn’t enough, here’s a list of specific things I want to apologize for (in no particular order): …
9. I just wanted to say thank you for loving me, even when I’m at my worst (see our recent fight for reference).
10. Wish I could take back the words I said, but since I can’t, here’s some new ones that will hopefully overpower them: Sorry from the bottom of my heart, I love you with all of my heart, and next time we disagree, I’ll speak from the heart.
11. The only thing making me feel better RN is knowing that you love me exactly as I am — flaws and all. Promise to try and be the best version of me next time we fight.
12. Gratitude may not erase what I said and did, but I still want to try: I’m so thankful for you each and every day — even the ones we fight on.
13. A few things I’m going to work on: Thinking before I talk, actively listening, and above all, remembering in the heat of the moment that ILY and that’s all that matters.
14. I’m not proud of how I acted, but I am proud to be your boo. LMK when is a good time for me to make it up to you.
15. My worst days with you are still better than my best days without you. So, sorry for our fight, but #notsorry we’re in this together.
Chris Armstrong, relationship coach