Sure, it’s fun to scroll through Instagram and see all the filtered couple photos people share on their public feeds. But you know what’s even better? Getting details about the day-to-day routine of real romantic partnerships. I’m always intrigued to learn about the smallest things, like the texts people in relationships send every day. It reveals a lot about their dynamic and the things they have in common, and it also shows just how different every single relationship is. There really is no “normal” when it comes to communication with your partner — it’s all about what works for you.
For instance, some couples check in pretty regularly throughout the day, maybe sending each other funny memes or updates about their morning at work. Others prefer to talk only when they have free time. But regardless, when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, you inevitably develop some kind of regular pattern of interaction. And many couples even have a go-to text they send to their partner every day, as a way of staying emotionally connected.
I asked real couples to share the daily texts they send to their significant other, and I honestly got some inspo for my own relationship in the process. These texts are all over the map — funny, heartfelt, or serious — but they all reveal fascinating details about the everyday stuff that makes relationships work.
‘Good night bisous’ came about when we were saying goodbye to each other during our year of long-distance. Since ‘bisous’ is ‘kisses’ in French, it was our way to show our love and affection even though we couldn’t in person. Since we normally talked during his afternoon when I was going to sleep, that is why it was ‘good night.’ It quickly turned into a way to continue our conversation without having to end. I would often try to say good night in all the languages I know (I think it’s up to eight now) to try to prolong the goodbye for another minute.
— Shannon, 23
Since the beginning it’s always been, ‘hello I love you.’ But when we were long distance it was, ‘excuse me, tell me your life please,’ ‘don’t forget to take notes and tell me later,’ and ‘you hate me why don’t you talk to me boo.’ Extremely mature people.
— Samantha, 25
I came up with the idea for what my boyfriend and I now lovingly refer to as the 'GFT' because I was hoping to shake up our day-to-day communication, and find a way to connect in a way that encourages positivity. The format of the daily text includes one goal for the day (that's the G), one thing you feel good about (the F), and one thing you're thankful for (the T). Each component of the GFT can range from professional stuff (like having a goal to pitch your boss an idea, or feeling good about packing a lunch for your work day) to more personal stuff (like being thankful that you got to sleep in with your boo that morning, or setting a goal to call an old friend from college). While we make it a point to send the GFT every day, we don't stress out over it if we can't get to it when life gets especially busy. After all, it's not meant to be a chore or a dreaded obligation — it's meant to be something we can both look forward to sharing with each other. I find that having this daily exchange helps to motivate us, makes us feel more accomplished, and also enhances our overall sense of gratitude.
— Rebecca, 31
My partner and I both aren't huge on texting constantly throughout the day. We usually check in once during work hours, unless one of us has something specific to ask or funny to tell the other. It's a small thing, but asking about each other's day makes us both feel cared for, even we're apart for longer periods of time.
— Iman, 24
Honestly, a daily text we send each other is a text about what the dog’s poop looked like that morning. And an ‘I love you’ — but poop first.
— Patty, 25
Usually 'I love you,' or 'I can't wait to be your wife,' or, 'the dog sh*t on the floor again.' Our lives are nothing if not glamorous.
— Kate, 24
Does DM’ing cute dog Instas count? We both follow a lot of dog Instagrams, and every day we send each other several posts that we find.
— Danni, 26
‘What’s for dinner?’ [text to] my boyfriend — he’s the best cook!
— Hannah, 27
A ‘good morning’ and ‘sweet dreams’ text (we don’t live together) so that I can be the first person who greets him when he wakes and the last person to wish him goodnight.
— Becca, 27
If we’re not together, ‘I love you.’ When we’re both at work, ‘good morning.’ [We started] as soon as we met. We think it’s important to check in every day and every night no matter what. We’ve been together almost two years.
— Cortne, 26
My boyfriend and I fell into the habit of texting each other 'bloop' in the middle of the day when we haven't heard from each other in a while. That usually kicks off a conversation. I know it's kind of silly, but it always makes me smile because I know he's thinking of me.
— Hannah, 26
Though these messages are very different, the sentiment is nearly the same — they're all a way of showing love and appreciation for one another. And it's these little inside jokes and routine questions that make a relationship successful, no matter how mundane they might seem.
