'DonaldGayTrump' Twitter Account Is The Best Thing To Come From His Campaign
On a recent family vacation, my uncle took me and two of my cousins to breakfast in an effort to gently indoctrinate us into the Trump 2016 flock.
After some brief Hillary Clinton brutalization, he mentioned the liberal media's agenda against her opponent, Donald J. Trump.
“The liberal media is attacking him left and right and letting that crook Hillary off the hook entirely,” he explained as I sat there, shoveling free pancakes into my mouth to avoid mentioning I pay my rent with dirty, liberal, media money.
At that point in mid-June, my silence could be bought with pancakes. Now? My silence can still probably be bought with pancakes, but it'd have to be, like, twice as many pancakes.
Between Trump's recent assertion President Barack Obama “was the founder of ISIS” and his comments calling for the “Second Amendment people” to prevent Hillary from getting elected and appointing a new Supreme Court justice, the Republican presidential candidate has become even harder to defend than he was two months ago.
A twitter account founded last month by New York-based comedian Matt Rogers is currently the only likable version of Trump in existence, and this Trump is still a total asshole.
DonaldGayTrump maintains the same aggressive tone as his volatile, orange inspiration, except he's also gay as hell.
Rogers told Elite Daily he started the account after a friend mentioned the real Donald was likely watching the DNC, cursing every legitimately famous celebrity who made an appearance "instead of at the RNC, championing him."
In case you're wondering, DonaldGayTrump abhors Katy Perry as a human being but respects her work.
Finding a voice for DonaldGayTrump was effortless enough for Rogers, who told Elite Daily,
DGT is not ready to drop his feud with Megyn Kelly, but he's also not blind.
He contributed to the box office success of the “Ghostbusters” reboot.
He's not interested in photo ops with supporters' babies.
He was ultimately unimpressed with “Smash.”
He thinks sexual harassment is for dumb-dumbs.
He's ready to build a wall to keep Orlando Bloom's penis out of the US.
He's on the lookout for that sweet Olympic ass, like a true American hero.
He's *thisclose* with Kate Hudson.
He has zero sympathy for #SuctionCupMan.
He just straight-up loves Mariah Carey.
Though its creator maintains the account is intended to entertain followers, the similarities between Donald J. Trump and DonaldGayTrump's oratory is jarring when readers consider one of these men has an actual shot at being elected POTUS.
At this point, Hillary's lucky she's running against the real Donald Trump because nothing unifies a nation behind one candidate like a shared love for the inspirational magic of a live performance of "Fight Song."