What Kind Of Dirty Talk You're Into, As Told By Your Zodiac Sign

by Rosey Baker
Alexey Kuzma

Dirty talk is a powerful tool. Used to increase both the strength and speed of an orgasm during the act of sexual intercourse, it's also a fun way to delve into a person's psychology.

So here's the kind of dirty talk every zodiac sign likes, and what that says about who they are deep down. Try some out next time you're in the sack!

Aries- Actually Talking Shit To Them

Aries are turned on by a good fight. Something about the energy of an argument really gets them going, and if you make a sudden transition to a make out session, while you're telling them how much they frustrate and annoy you, they'll love it even more.

There's nothing sexier than someone being annoyed as hell, but still unable to resist that Aries' charm.

Taurus- Going Over Groupon Deals

Taurus loves their creature comforts. Talk to them about how you want to take them to the Ritz Carlton in Cancun, to lay on clean hotel sheets with turndown service and feed them room service strawberries. They'll turn to butter.

Add to that the fact that they'll be saving money on something that would otherwise cost them an arm and a leg, and then pray they don't climax before you do.

Gemini- Re-reading Sexts From Earlier

Geminis are probably the best dirty talkers in the zodiac. They have a knack for it, a gift they were given from the stars. They also have a problem with doing one thing at a time, and since they lead up to sex with a lot of flirtation and sexting, they'd probably enjoy being reread the dirty texts you've sent WHILE you're plowing each other.

It sounds weird, but it makes them feel like they're having sex in two different places at once. Sex is weird, you guys. Don't judge.

Cancer- Sharing Cake Recipes

Literally. I mean take your best cake recipe, and show your Cancer lover how you make it. It'll be just like a scene out of Chocolat, that Johnny Depp movie where he seduces an entire town with his delicious chocolate recipes (such a '90s movie premise).

Cancers are turned on by sensual, nurturing lovers, and they need to feel protected. Pretty soon you'll be rolling around on the kitchen floor covered in flour.

Leo- Tell Them They're The King/Queen Of Your Bits

They know this about themselves, but Leos are easier to talk dirty to than literally anyone in the zodiac because their minds are ruled by compliments.

The moment you tell them you've never laid eyes on anyone more gorgeous in your life, or tell them how hypnotic they are when they're naked, they'll be the ones who are hypnotized.  Just imagine you're rehearsing the most positive sexy Yelp review of your life out loud.

Virgo- Just Confirming Plans Over And Over

Virgos aren't known to be the kinkiest sign in the zodiac, but they are effective. They know how to get you off, not based on pure sexual instinct, but on research.

They literally will read every sexual article they can find to see how to make you feel good, like they're visiting from another planet. You know what makes them feel good? Organization. Plans. Order.

It's not dirty, but it's what they're into. Say it in a dirty voice, and repeat after me: "I'll pick you up at 6:00 sharp."

Libra- Listing Every Good Thing They've Ever Done For You

Libras want to know that they good things they're doing are appreciated, and that they're going to be repaid either in sexual favors or in some other way. They're the sign of fairness, justice, and equality.

So next time you're in bed with them, let them know before you head downtown, "This is for the time you saw The Lego Movie with me even though we're adults and you hated it."

Scorpio- Shut Up And Let Them Work

You really don't need to talk too much right now. You're in bed with an expert. Scorpios know what they want. To a Scorpio, dirty talk is for people who don't know how to f*ck, like couples who do activities together on vacation. It's extracurricular.

Scorpios do it with so much intensity you'll be left speechless anyway; you'll probably be too busy wondering what the hell they're thinking about.

Sagittarius- Tell Them How "Right" They Are About Everything

Sagittarius can be pretty great in bed, but their dirty talk skills might not be everything you'd think they are. For one thing, their communication style can be a little preachy sometimes, so you might feel like you're f*cking your college professor.

Then again, if you're willing to lean into that, things could start heating up pretty quickly. Ask your Sagittarius to show you a thing or two, play the student, and you might actually learn something.

Capricorn- Tell Them Your Credit Score

OK, so maybe a Capricorn doesn't need to hear your credit score actually, but they do want to know how much money and power you have. They plan to rise to the top and they plan to do it fast. They're dominant types and they want someone in life who will play power couple with them.

So, while you're in bed, tell them how impressive they are. They need someone to be their sub and their groupie at the same time.

Aquarius- Doesn't Matter As Long As It's In Another Language

Aquarians will dirty talk to whoever, but they tend to be a little detached in every area of life. They're always observing the experience as if from somewhere outside of it, so the best way to get them to fully engage in dirty talk is to offer them something they don't understand. They don't care if it's dirty or not, as long as it stimulates their curiosity. Rattle off your grocery list in Spanish, for all they care.

Pisces- Just Tell Them You Understand What They're Going Through

Because with Pisces, trust me, it's always something. They're a sensitive bunch and the whole world scares them, so they need an understanding partner with an empathetic heart.

They need to be dominated in bed, just so they can feel like they can let go of the wheel and let someone else drive. They need an escape, and if you're lucky enough to get in bed with one of them, you're it, buddy.