Yelp is where all the sociopaths who are too lazy to murder/eat people go to get their violent urges out.
With a little more initiative, these folks could've put their minds together to finally build the torture chamber they're always talking about.
Like YouTube commenters, Twitter trolls and real, actual trolls, these people apparently have a very difficult time understanding that their words hurt.
A dozen staffers from a restaurant that's probably in California decided to help them out by reading their reviews aloud like Jimmy Kimmel's famous Celebrities Read Mean Tweets segment.
My personal favorite:
The place smelled like sh*t. Think of what your farts would smell like if you swallowed human being and they died inside you.
Maybe Yelp comments aren't totally useless after all.