Lifestyle

If You Can Make Out The Lyrics To Tiffany Trump's Pop Song, You Have A Gift

by Alec MacDonald
REUTERS

Yes, Donald Trump has another daughter apart from Ivanka (whom he may or may not want to have sex with -- jury is still out), and her name is Tiffany Trump.

You are free to follow her on Instagram, if you like.

There, you will see things like this -- which may help certain readers defeat their insomnia.

Now, I don't want to conflate Tiffany Trump with her father (who may or may not have a tiny penis and small hands) because I personally would hate to be lumped in with my own father, who was born and raised in Canada. *Shudder*

So, I reserve judgment on Tiffany Trump for now. I don't really know anything about her.

The only thing I know about her is she's incredibly rich and 22 years old. (I assume this is because she is a fan of Taylor Swift, who was also fond of that number.)

And, apart from posting videos of herself pretending to have a good time while someone photographs her, Tiffany Trump is also, as was recently discovered, an aspiring musician.

The song is called "Like A Bird," and it is exactly as good as you're thinking.

Now, I don't want to speak too soon, but I think this might be the best song I've ever heard. I believe, with all my heart, I will be humming it to my children as they fall asleep each night.

The song's lyrics are ESPECIALLY beautiful primarily because they are almost indistinguishable through the Auto-Tune.

I feel like this song is specifically designed to sound like you are having a harrowingly bad time on molly and all your friends have abandoned you.

According to New York magazine and its team of apparently owl-eared interns, the lyrics involve a lot of stuff like this:

You're cute and you're tweeting me! Baby you go beep, beep, beep!
Designer jeans, behind the scenes Kinda like that drama that Madonna brings. Play in my escape, in the drop-top coop We living it up, shine like aluminum foil in the club.

After all, there is surely nothing more glamorous than shining at the club like a thing you wrap sandwiches in.

Now, I invite you to a sporting challenge: Can you decipher what Tiffany Trump is saying in these two snippets?

Prepare your ears; they will not have been challenged this much in some time.

Lyric snippet #1:

Lyric snippet #2

Take our quiz below to test your listening abilities.

Citations: Tiffany Trump's Forgotten Pop Anthem Is the Song of Summer (New York magazine), DON'T FORGET: DONALD TRUMP WANTS TO BANG HIS DAUGHTER (The Daily Show)

Daily Vibes for Your Main Character Era
Level up your routines, rituals, and random musings. This is lifestyle content that gets you.
By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy