The Total Cost Of Ryan Lochte's Drunken Night -- From Ciroc To The Bathroom Door

REUTERS/Alec MacDonald

If you haven't heard, Ryan Lochte, champion swimmer and visionary inventor of the word “Jeah” (a word, which, presumably, means "yes"), was allegedly involved in a mugging.

He claimed on Friday night, he and his drunk friends/fellow athletes were held up at gunpoint by men dressed as police officers.

But with new security footage from a gas station on the night in question, it turns out Lochte probably lied about this, seemingly for no reason.

According to police, the true story is he and his fellow guys-who-are-good-at-using-their-bodies-to-swim-through-water were extremely drunk that night and went to a gas station to pee.

Somehow, a bathroom door was broken down, and according to New York Times Sports, the security guards pulled a gun on Lochte and his fellows, forcing them to pay for the damage, which they did.

When discrepancies were found in the story, a Brazilian judge insisted Lochte not be allowed to leave the country -- the entire story is extremely surreal.

It's just so funny to me Ryan Lochte, if Phelps wasn't around, would probably be the most decorated Olympian of all time (he already has 12 medals), and yet, this titan of athletics spends his time making up fake words, dyeing his hair, starring in reality shows and lying to cops about stuff he did when he needed to urinate while drunk.

The story is still developing (because it is so weird and silly, the truth is as unbelievable as the fabrication). I mean, seriously, how and why did any of this happen?

Whatever the answers are, until we know THE FACTS, let's focus on hard evidence.

Take a look at this extremely real and not fake receipt from Friday, which lists the various things Lochte paid for on the night in question.

Alec MacDonlad

Ask me if I love Ryan Lochte. Go ahead, ask me. My answer will always be the same: Jeah.