Corinne NEEDS her nanny, y'all.
The 24-year-old survived week one at Bachelor Mansion, though life without an adult nanny to make her cheese pasta (it's what you think it is) and keep her from sashaying around the grounds in merely a trench coat — nipples frosted with those sweet, sweet whipped cream chemicals — proved to be an uphill battle.
The self-proclaimed “very serious businesswoman” told her fellow hopefuls,
Raquel, like, keeps my life together, OK? She makes sure that my bed is made every morning, makes my cucumber and my, like, vegetable slices for lunch. She makes me lemon salad. She knows exactly how much oil, lemon and garlic salt I like… I have tried so many times to make cheese pasta, and I can't make cheese pasta like her.
At one point, upon seeing Bachelor Nick Viall kiss contestant Danielle, Corinne declares, “This isn't a joke anymore,” as if this entire series isn't precisely that.
She's stressed. She's shaken. She “just [wants] all the other girls to go home. Poop.”
Now, a coalition of her critics have launched a GoFundMe to liberate Raquel from Corinne's employment.
Despite Corinne's claims a career cooking, cleaning and serving a fully grown woman “makes [Raquel] happy,” certain viewers are hoping to get ol' Rocky the cash she needs to leave Corinne and her lemon salad-eating mouth behind forever.
The page, bearing #FreeRaquel2k17, has only amassed $30 of its $100,000 goal since its launch Monday, but a blurb pleads for the financial support of “America's most beloved woman.”
Its organizer writes,
Raquel deserves better, we can only hope that she doesn't already suffer from Stockholm syndrome from living under Miss Oympios. Let's all help Raquel get a better job, to get back on her own two feet. Let's help #FreeRaquel. Help save a life, show your support today.
The stickiest part of this situation is, yes, Raquel deserves her freedom, but Corinne has already proven she needs her nanny for basic survival.
During Monday night's episode, she admitted,
I've had to do some big girl stuff. I don't like it.
We don't like it either, CoCo. We don't like it either.
*splooshes a bunch of whipped cream in my whipped cream hole and chokes on it*