5 Clues Bryan Doesn't Win 'The Bachelorette' That Will Make You Reconsider Everything

by Jamie LeeLo

I know you guys think Bryan is going to win Bachelorette Rachel's heart, what with all the making out and that Swiss watch and the constant proclamations of love and everything, but parts of the internet beg to differ. This is one of them. There are just a few clues Bryan doesn't win the Bachelorette, and I'm here to dig them out from the internet rocks they're hiding under. 

Before we get into it, let me just say... I don't like Bryan. There's something untrustworthy about a totally smoking hot doctor, who also adores children, AND believes in love at first sight, know what I mean? Ever since he spoke dirty to Rach in Spanish and was comfortable jumping into Tongue Town out the gate, I've been a little bit like, "What's this guy up to?"

From the beginning, Bryan has been unusually confident, considering he is a part of something so objective. Plus, sheer ego alone does not a fiancé make, and relying on charm isn't enough to win a gal like our main girl Rachel over.

So, I've put in the time and research, and have gathered the following concrete(ish) evidence suggesting Bryan might not get that final rose.

1. His relationship with Rachel is purely physical.

ABC/Rodrigo Varela

AND material. It's all making out, driving fast cars and buying fancy watches in Switzerland. Rachel has arguably hit deeper levels of emotional intimacy with the other contestants, including Dean, who she let go in a bittersweet hometown episode.

2. Her family didn't like him.

Remember when he weirdly excused himself from dinner with her relatives? That's because you could cut the tension with a knife through the TV. Rachel's fam put their antennas up when he was all, "I love your daughter, despite knowing her for less than 60 days," and we were all like, "Great point, fam."

3. The public is pulling for Peter.

Can we all agree Peter is, like, the best? Sure, sure, he's a little iffy about his feeling's for Rachel, but that's because he's mature and understands that marital status isn't built under a spotlight! Plus, according to a GoldDerby poll, 52 percent of viewers are rooting for him.

Sorry, Bryan.

4. He is perfect for the next season of The Bachelor.


Hot? Check. Fascinating job? Check. Affinity for women? Check. Walks the line of drama queen and earnest gentleman, like, all of the time? Check. This man is perfect as America's next Bachelor, if only he doesn't get engaged to Rachel first.

5. He's been on dating shows before.

OH, YEAH. Dating shows are, like, his thing. He was straight up on a television show called The Player in 2004. The catch phrase was, "Either you've got game, or you're going home."

Please, PLEASE, watch the video below.

I think I rest my case.