OK, OK, OK.
Kim Kardashian's right-hand woman Stephanie Shepherd broke down what it's like working for the royal family in an interview, and it's almost too much to take in.
Whatever you think it's like, it 100 percent is and also 100 percent is not.
If you think being Kim K's assistant is jet-setting around the world, wearing expensive clothing and eating nice meals -- you are right.
But if you think it's a nightmare of logistics, keeping track of the world's craziest calendars and carrying piles and piles of heavy luggage while taking the fall for everything that goes wrong -- you are also right.
Shepherd, who is in her late 20s, recently sat down with Refinery29 and laid it all out there. Here are a few tidbits from the crazy life of a Kardashian assistant.
She was first an assistant to Real Housewife, Erika Girardi.
Shepherd explained when she first came to LA, it was a real culture shock. Coming from a small rural town, the fanciest restaurant Steph had at the time was Olive Garden. She said,
When she met Kim Kardashian, they both were wearing french braids.
In 2013, after a quick interview with Kris Jenner's assistant, Stephanie was immediately introduced to Kim. At the time, Kim was very pregnant with North.
She started the very next day.
She drives around with Kimoji merchandise in her trunk, just in case.
Shepherd was recently promoted from assistant to COO of Kardashian West Brands, and a huge part of that is helping Kim keep track of her app, Kimoji. Steph even has a hand in helping design the latest emojis, and takes meetings on behalf of Kim.
For one thing, they are working on adding an "asstray." Steph explained, "Kim doesn't smoke, but I try to get the weed paraphernalia in there... you know, for the youth."
She also drives around with a trunk full of wrapped Kimoji merchandise, saying, "With Kim, you never know when you might need to gift some merch!"
Kris Jenner really does run the whole world.
Stephanie can't say enough wonderful things about the matriarch of the family, explaining that Kris is both a badass boss and a wonderful mother.
Her biggest advice to other assistants is to write everything down.
Steph doesn't pretend she's superhuman, and admits she's made mistakes. However, her biggest piece of advice to share with any assistant is to take notes. Lots and lots of notes.
She was there for the infamous Paris robbery.
Steph was out at a nightclub with Kim's sister Kourtney when she got the call. Immediately, she went into crisis management mode.
The Kardashian sisters really DO work out as much as you think they do.
Steph, who used to be a professional dancer, works out because of the sisters.
She said, "Being around Kim and Kourtney and Khloé, I'm always working out. I never was a big exercise person before, but they work out religiously."
She and Kim talk more than any other two people on the planet.
And she has an independent relationship with all of her sisters.
Being a Kardashian employee means constant communication and accessibility. She said, "I don't think it's possible for any person to talk to anyone more than I talk to Kim."
Apparently, Kanye West is actually very funny.
Which, I guess, makes sense? Stephanie explains most people think he is very serious, dramatic, and mooddy -- but apparently Yeezy can lay on some great one-liners.
She can also work a camera, and often films for Keeping Up With The Kardashians during more private moments.
For example, she wasn't even part of the wedding ceremony for Kim and Kanye's wedding, because she was busy filming from the roof.
For now, this is all she wants to do.
As an assistant, people often ask her "What's next?," and to Shepherd, that doesn't quite make sense. "I'm just like, what do you mean?" She adds, "Honestly, I'm just going to see where it takes me. I'm learning. I'm helping Kim Kardashian run her empire. I'm also building something for myself. I think that's a pretty f*cking great gig."
You said it, Steph. You said it.