Kristin Rogers Photography

Unexpected Things In A Serious Relationship


Before I got into a "serious relationship," I always sort of assumed it would look like John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. Just two beautiful people being beautiful, playing pranks on their celebrity friends and going to fancy parties.

In real life, it's, like, not that.

While I'm completely in love with being in love and super happy in my relationship, it's definitely a lot different than I thought it would be.

Here are a few things I didn't expect or see coming.

A lot less sexy underwear, a lot more wearing one shirt to bed for weeks in a row

Maybe you saw this one coming, but I always assumed if I were in a serious relationship, it would give me REASON to wear cute underwear.

Super false.

Being in a super comfortable, committed relationship led to an extreme disinterest in "trying to impress" and shifted all of my priorities to "how can I be as comfortable as possible at all times?" If that means a Mountain Dew t-shirt from high school, so be it.

A lot less big bar tabs, a lot more supporting each other's financial instability

There's only so many "this one's on me" dinners you can pick up before you have to just get real about what's going on with your money.

The truth is, there is usually an ebb and flow to a couple's spending, and you start to tune in to where your significant other splurges, saves and spends. If you'll be splitting finances moving forward (i.e. moving in together, if you share a pet, car expenses, etc.), it's also healthy to openly communicate about this kind of thing.

In my relationship, there are months where I'm happy to cover our takeout every night, and others where I make a big deal about "IF YOU DON'T SHARE YOUR CHIPOTLE BOWL WITH ME, I'LL STARVE."

Mo' money, mo' delivery. See what I'm saying?

A lot less romantic dinners, a lot more dinner with their family

Speaking of dinners, if you got used to going out on date nights together when the relationship was still new, get ready for a whole lot of family time now.

Being in a serious relationship means you take on your boyfriend/girlfriend AND everything they come with, like their family.

Back in the early days of your relationship, if you felt uncomfortable or wanted to dip out of a family event, maybe you could get away with coming up with an excuse. Not anymore.

Settle in and get to know your one-day-in-laws, because they aren't going anywhere.

A lot less living in the moment, a lot more future talk

When my boyfriend and I first got together, there would be a few nights a week where we would genuinely lose track of time staring into each other's eyes, and before we knew it, the sun would be coming up.

Now, almost everything we do is planned WAY out in advance, and lots of spontaneity is gone.

We also talk about the future like it's sitting in the room with us.

"When should we go on vacation? When do you think we should get married? Where do we want to buy property? Should we cash in all our savings and travel the world for a year before we have babies?"


A lot less going on dates, a lot more documentaries on animals, scientology and drug addiction

This is my actual favorite part about being in a serious relationship. You get to do all the weird stuff you usually reserved for nights in by yourself with someone who loves you.

Sure, sure, nights out dancing and staring at the stars is great.

But until you watch the Planet Earth episode about the 200-year-old salamanders in Japan while laying in bed drinking wine out of a straw with your boo bear, you really haven't lived.

And the best part about this? You can do that every night!

A lot less making out, a lot more sex

Tell me if I'm alone in this. Once you cross the finish line and have sex, it's way easier to fast forward to the grand finale and skip all the sexy previews.

I don't know how to say this, but the regular ol' making out, hand jobs and boob stuff just seem silly. (And that's dumb, because I think hand stuff is HIGHLY underrated.)

Plus, after being with someone for a while, you likely know exactly what buttons to push. And if you have the gold ticket, why not use it, right?

A lot less alone time, a lot more synced Google calendars

My boyfriend and I share six calendars between us: his personal, my personal, his work, my work, holidays/travel and our dog walkers schedule.

I know. It's embarrassing.

Sharing your life with someone requires lots of organization, and you found out "me" time is really "when are you somewhere geographically away from me" time.

Reorganizing your day without your significant other weighing in first or giving them the heads up can also have some annoying consequences, like learning they could have picked you up from Trader Joes instead of making you walk the eight blocks home like a she-warrior.

If the event is not on the G-cal, it doesn't exist.

BUT! The perks are someone always has an eye on you and you get to fall into a cute little routine together, streamlining your relationship and boosting quality time together.

A lot less mystery, a lot more emotional support

Boy oh boy, do the skeletons come out when you've been with someone for a long ass time.

If you thought you could keep up the facade of mystery and coyness, bitch, you wrong.

It is inevitable that you will become each other's support system, and in fact, one could argue it's a key ingredient to being in a successful relationship.

Carrying someone's emotional baggage for them is one of the most romantic, amazing things a person can do for another human being, and you're lucky if you hit this point in your relationship.

Of course, every relationship looks different and maybe your serious relationship is exactly backwards from mine. Point is, life is a flat circle, or something, and be with who makes you happy.