The old saying goes, "The best way to get over a man is to get under another." I, however, with experience as my witness, would like to refute this.
I believe it can give a temporary high and short-lived fix as you are reminded that, yes, you are still attractive to the opposite sex and some of them would still like to have sex with you (hooray), but it eventually wears off.
It won't get to the root of the problem as the shadow of your ex will still weigh heavily on your romantic life, and it may send you into a spiral of detrimental flings only prolonging your pain.
My theory to truly get over someone is, you need to fall in love with yourself. I don't intend for this to mean you become vain or narcissistic, but to be the best possible version of yourself.
Jumping back into a relationship is asking someone new to fill the void in your ego that can only be filled by you.
No one else will see the value and the magnificence of you unless you see it in yourself first.
There have been many times when I've fallen for someone and been left feeling used, depressed and completely down on myself. In order to get out of this rut, you must remember your worth. Remember why he was attracted to you in the first place.
Relationships fall apart due to circumstances, but this doesn't mean you're to blame. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Shit happens.
As odd and ridiculous as it sounds, I often like to pretend I'm in the movie of my own life when I'm heartbroken. Think about movies you've seen: Very rarely do they end with the protagonist feeling all angsty and stuck in a rut. Hell no.
The character has a cathartic breakup or parting of ways with a loved one and comes out of it a wiser and stronger person for the experience.
With every tragedy and heartache, there is a lesson to be learned. Your heart is broken, you have a cry, you wallow in self-pity for a while and then you get your ass up, give yourself a shake and get your shit together.
I believe there are various ways you can rediscover how wonderful you are and fall in love with yourself.
Here's how to do it:
1. Start exercising.
Beginning to exercise is great in many ways. They say "the best revenge is a good body," but this is just one perk. Aside from getting you in shape, working out is also very therapeutic.
I began running to have some time alone, to have a think about things and to sort out my head. After exercising, you feel so empowered and satisfied. You don't have to be an athlete; anyone can do it.
Start small and challenge yourself. Once you achieve your goal, you'll feel like you can conquer the world.
2. Be kind.
Your man might not be there for you anymore, but your friends and family certainly will be. Take time to show them you appreciate them.
There's no such thing as a selfless good deed, and making your loved ones happy will cheer you up, too. Say thanks to your bestie for being there for you. Get her a present, take her for dinner or even throw her a party.
In my eyes, there's no compliment better than having someone appreciate your kindness. You're lovely, and anyone would be lucky to have you.
3. Find a new hobby.
Try something new, no matter how crazy or ridiculous it is. Nothing exciting is going to happen in your comfort zone, so try something that scares you. Play tennis, join a parkour group or buy a skateboard.
Yeah, you'll fall on your ass 100 times and fail pretty badly to begin with, but when you finally make it to the end of the block on that board, you'll feel like a champion.
4. Discover your passion.
Channel your pain and anger, and put it to good use. Some of the greatest art ever created came from a broken heart.
I doubt Adele would be the superstar she is had she not created her music while getting over a man. Jane Austen had her heart shattered by a young man called Tom Lefroy (who reportedly inspired the charming Mr. Darcy), and she went on to pen one of the most studied and referenced books of all time.
Make some art, write, sing, dance or paint a canvas. You never know; you could be the next big thing.
5. Be the bigger person.
If your breakup has been a nasty one, don't be tempted down that low and bitter road.
Listen to Queen Bey. Don't blast him on the radio, don't hate on him in magazines and don't diss him on the internet. You're better than that.
If your ex decides he wants things to get messy, rise above it.
You'll always be able to pride yourself on being the bigger person, and you'll be respected for it.