If He’s Texting You Less Often, It Means One Of 3 Things For Your Relationship
Texting with your crush is the best, isn't it? Who doesn't crave that little thrill you get from seeing a message from them pop up on your screen and knowing that they are thinking of you and wanting to connect? So, it's no surprise that when the rate of those messages suddenly slows from a flood to drip, it's really easy to go from perfectly chill to full blown paranoid faster than you can type BRB.
No one could blame you for thinking that if they're texting you less often, it must mean they have lost interest. But the good news is that's not necessarily true. The fact is, texting itself is an unreliable barometer of interest in a relationship. It can mean everything, but it could just as easily mean absolutely nothing. So, don't assume that because they went from texting you 75 times a day to say… five, that it's time to go to relationship DEFCON One. There are totally normal, non-panic-inducing reasons why you're hearing from them less — and really only one to worry about.
But how can you tell the difference when the sudden silence is loaded and when its safe not to sweat it? Turns out, the subtext of texting behavior is pretty easy to interpret, if you know what to look for.
1. You Have A Normal, Healthy Relationship
Let's be honest, shall we? Maintaining the sheer volume and furious pace of texting of a new romance is just not sustainable long-term. Rather than get your fee-fees in a twist, try and be realistic about your texting expectations. Ask yourself, are you communicating in other ways? Are they showing you love IRL? If so, then their slow down in their texting is nothing more than the usual ebb and flow inherent in all areas of a comfortable and secure relationship.
2. Their Life Got Busier
Before you hit the panic button, take a beat. Ask yourself, did they recently mention a big project coming up at work? Did they get a new job? Is it finals week? Do they have family in town? As important as you are to your partner, there will be time when life gets in the way of texting. These are all totally reasonable reasons why they can't reply as quickly or as eloquently as they have in the past. So, when in doubt, just remember: Don't take it personally. Life happens.
3. They Are Pulling Away
And finally, the reason we all dread. Yes, it is possible the lack of texting is an indication that they've lost some of that loving feeling. Perhaps things were getting too serious and they are trying to cool things down. Maybe they met someone else. Or maybe you're secretly the side piece. There are various worst case scenarios, but ultimately they all boil down to one thing: The relationship is ending. Take a deep breath; I can feel your blood pressure raising from here.
While these are all possible reasons for sudden slowdown, don't jump to the conclusion automatically. Make sure you've considered all the data available to to you. Ask yourself, are they still trying to spend quality time with you in person, or are they communicating in other ways? If the answer those questions are yes, refer back to numbers one and two above.
However, if the slowed texting is part of a larger trend, I'm sorry to say things don't look great. You have a couple options here. You can try pulling back a bit yourself. If it's a case of your partner feeling like they need a bit more breathing room, this may do the trick. If they don't, well perhaps it's time to take back control of the situation by moving on. Yes, in the short term it's always a bummer to end things, but I promise, in the long term, you'll feel amazing for having the strength to do it.
Plus, it means you're freed up for some textual healing with someone new.