Why I'm OK Being Called A 'Spinster'
While I absolutely love and adore my married girlfriends, there is one big thing I wish they knew: I am completely fine being single, and I am completely fine NOT getting married any time soon... or ever.
Don't get me wrong; I'm all for marriage and the sanctity it represents. I am over the moon happy for my best girls who've found the loves of their lives and taken the plunge into life-long commitment.
I'm just not sure it's for me.
While, yes, I am dangerously close to the age of 29 – therefore being called a “spinster” – I am also blissfully happy carrying the label of “single.”
Beyond the world of romance and men, I have a budding career, a workout routine I love, an amazing group of friends and the best family. I live in a city where there is always something exciting to do.
With all of this at my hands, I find it hard to miss a consistent snuggle buddy. I actually am happy all on my own, in my own space, doing my own thing.
While I am not in a place where I'm craving commitment, I understand where my married friends are coming from when they place heavy emphasis on romance in our conversations.
They have taken their vows. They have chosen their “ones.” That lifestyle is their new norm.
So, more often than not, the first and seemingly most important question my married friends ask is, “Anything new with boys?”
Whether they're asking because they want me to find the same stability and commitment they have found, or whether it's because they want to live vicariously through my single days, I will never know.
But it definitely seems like my response carries the weight of the world, and will foretell my entire future happiness if it does or doesn't work out with this one guy. One “eh, we broke up” may make or break my actual life, with no chance of recovery… or so these conversations make it seem.
If things are going great, I get asked "What's next?" If things aren't going so great, they love to send me a plethora of pick me ups and sympathies.
While I genuinely appreciate the love and thought my married girlfriends put into my dating life, I wish they knew I don't actually NEED the verbal support when it comes to my constant singleness. I wish they understood finding a boyfriend isn't a goal of mine, and being single definitely does not keep me awake at night.
Being single is something I am very apathetic to change any time soon. So, when a relationship doesn't work out, I really am not that sad about it. If I'm in something I'm excited about, I'm likely taking it one day at a time with him. I'm not interested in a long-term commitment.
Like I said, I absolutely love and adore my married girlfriends, but sometimes, I wish they would remember their days as blissfully happy single girls. I wish they understood I am doing just fine on my own.