Am I just being grouchy, or has there been a faux holiday epidemic on Instagram lately?
Let's be real. National Best Friends' Day was just an excuse to post that picture you forgot about from last summer where your abs look bomb (but also... yass kween, get it).
Grumpy cat tendencies aside, I do have to admit that of all of the "national days," today is truly a great one.
Cue the Marvin Gaye, Boyz II Men, or any slow jam of your choice, because today is National Sex Day.
Before you eye-roll me, let me tell you that despite the Sex Day praise, yes, I am single.
Sometimes I love it, and other times, I hate it.
But hey, here's an important PSA: Today is not Valentine's Day. Today is not about valuing yourself based on how committed of a relationship you are in.
Today is all about sex.
Sex, guys. You know, that bodily pleasure we all love to indulge in because we are humans-slash-wild animals?
Here's a little chicken noodle soup for your single soul: Relationships do not always equal tons of sex, and though you're single, you might even be getting more action than your deeply committed friends.
Using National Sex Day as our inspiration, below, you'll find five ways to enjoy the day as a single gal.
Take initiative and start swiping.
If you're really looking to celebrate, the best way is to just start swiping and get yours. Odds are there are plenty of people out there looking for the exact same thing you are. Grab National Sex Day by... well, the whatever, and take the plunge!
It's 2017, and Tinder is basically TaskRabbit for sex (if you want it to be). If you are truly looking for some quality naked fun, or a one-time rendezvous with a stranger, I suggest you grab some of your girls, a few adult beverages, and start sorting through some hotties. Swipe against your type, message first, and be up front and honest about what you want.
Make the most of being single because you're not going to be able to do this forever. Men aren't the only ones who get to have guilt-free hookups all the time.
That said, maybe just respect their boundaries... and condoms are great... and maybe have some pepper spray on you... but have fun!
Make the day all about you.
Even if you're not up for a one-night stand, there's still plenty of ways to celebrate your beautiful and sexy self on this happy, sexy day.
Go ahead and treat. Yo. Self.
Take yourself out for some quality rosé and oysters. And when was the last time you had an actual bubble bath?
Buy yourself something indulgent like a Diptyque candle, or head to Journelle to buy some expensive bras that actually fit.
Pampering yourself in the name of self-love might even feel a little bit better than sex... you know, depending on how good the sex is that you're having.
Get in touch with your body.
Go seek out a tantric yoga class and get your chakras in line while finding some sexy inner bliss. Or, you can take a hot yoga class where you'll sweat out more calories than you would during a romp in the sheets.
You'll go home and probably want to stare at your toned and naked bod in the mirror (as you should).
Pose for a little and take a racy selfie. Maybe send it to someone, maybe not. Just treat your magical unicorn of a body the way a good lover would.
Even if you're not having sex, you can enjoy National Sex Day by being good to your body. Your body does so much for you, so give it some love for a change!
Ring up an old hookup buddy.
If Tinder swiping takes too long and yoga just feels a little extra, you can still celebrate the day physically by getting straight to the point. Call up that former fling of yours and make National Sex Day all about you getting yours.
Pick someone who makes you feel good about yourself. And make sure your person knows what the deal is too.
Do he stalk all of your Instagram stories? Boy, bye.
Still get drunk texts from him every other weekend? Hard pass.
This is a no strings, totally mutual, awesome sex thing. Just remember not to settle on with mediocre sex and a mediocre guy.
Build up your confidence and make the first move.
I may not be the most comfortable walking up to someone at a bar and turning on the charm. Honestly, sometimes I just turn into Marcel the Shell and hide, losing all motor functions. I do admire a guy who can approach me with some charm, as long as he's not being creepy and spouting out dad jokes.
A dating app isn't the only place to find a guy to enjoy National Sex Day with.
Instead, you can challenge yourself to making just one tiny, bold move on the next person you think is cute.
Whether you leave your number on a receipt for that hot barista, or strike up a conversation with your neighbor when you see him walking his adorable pup, that one scary move will take you out of your comfort zone. You'll build confidence and feel so much sexier, even if it leads nowhere.
And who knows, it does have potential to lead to something great. Friendship is good, sex is great, and a future puppy friend to pose with on National Puppy Day? Even better.
Take advantage of this super fun, super personal holiday and celebrate exactly as you see fit. Your options are endless.
Have a very sexy, very stimulating, National Sex Day.