Listen up, troops! It's time to strap 'em on and spread your legs! It's National Sex Day in America!
Whether by bringing in new sex toys, additional partners, or engaging in fun and games, what better way to acknowledge the day devoted to one of our favorite pastimes than by trying out some new positions in the bedroom in honor of 6/9?
Have fun, be safe, and remember to always, always, always ask for consent!
1. Field Day
Remember the wheelbarrow races you used to do in elementary school? Think of this position as the grown-up version.
The receiving partner should get on the ground on their hands and knees. Then, the penetrating partner picks them up by the ankles, entering them from behind.
Try thrusting so hard that your partner has to walk across the floor on their hands! Or try seeing whether the receiving partner can balance an egg and spoon in their mouth during.
You can add additional props, like a plate of whipped cream or fresh fruit to indulge in when you reach the other side.
Alternatively, if you're bringing additional partners into your bedroom, you can try timing one another in couple's races to see who has the greatest athletic strength.
Named after the two-headed Roman god of beginnings and endings, this position is a great way for you and your partner to jazz up your routine with some mild-to-moderate ass play.
You and your partner should lie on your sides facing one another, in opposite directions.
The receiving partner then wraps their legs around the penetrating partner's pelvis, resting their feet on their partner's buttocks.
If you're the receiving partner, try massaging your partner's ass with your feet to give them additional stimulation! And if you're the one who's thrusting, you should enter your partner from this position. Don't forget to take advantage of that voluptuous rump in your face!
Give your partner added pleasure by engaging in anal, using a butt plug, or entering their back-end with your fingers.
If your partner isn't down with butt stuff, you can still add to the good feels by rubbing ice or warm lotion on their skin.
3. Pick Up Sticks
This one is for those of us who have a varied sex toy collection.
Begin by gathering together all of your dildos, wands, vibrators, and beads.
As always, before bringing toys into the bedroom, make sure they're clean. You can wash them off with just a light soap and water.
Toss the clean toys on the bed. Then, you and your partner should try to pick them up using whatever orifices you can.
You can add bonus points for using butts or vaginas, and as an added challenge, you can lube up the toys first.
Take turns using the different toys to go to town on one another.
4. The Masseuse
This sex act was designed with people who have vaginas in mind, but it should be pretty easy to modify for ass play, too!
If you're in a super generous mood, you might want to begin by giving your partner a full-body massage, working down to their nether regions gradually.
Turn your partner on her back and massage the outer edges of her labia with both fingers.
When she's good and ready, move to her clitoris, flicking it and circling it with your fingers. Don't bring her to orgasm yet!
When she's just about ready to come, enter her vagina with your fingers. Press on each side of her vagina, moving in a clockwise position.
Finally, hook your fingers, and press on her G-spot until she comes.
If you want to have fun yourself, try pleasuring your partner while you're also having fun with an egg or an anal vibrator.
5. Sit and Reach
This position uses rope as an accessory, which both gets you and your partner ready to play with some light bondage, and gives you lots of opportunity for experimentation!
Begin by sitting up with your legs in a V-position. Bend at your knees, and rest your arms alongside the lower half of your leg.
Using soft rope, have your partner bind your arms to your legs. Try tying just above the ankles and just below the knees.
From this position, you can be entered from the front with your legs on the ground, or you can rock backwards on your rear so your legs are held up by your arms.
There are lots of other positions that you can invent for yourself with this one as you roll around, too.
Bonus: The James Comey
For those who like to get political in the bedroom, yesterday's Senate hearing offers plenty of inspiration!
Hide from your partner in the curtains. When they find you, do whatever makes you uncomfortable while taking rigorous notes.
Replace your partner's name with “Lordy.”
If you go down on your partner, pause to talk about how much the FBI means to you, personally.
And finally, delay orgasm by bringing up Hillary Clinton's emails.