Relationships

Why Valentine's Day Is The Best Night Of The Year To Get Laid

by Sean Abrams
Kayla Snell

It's February, and single people all over the world are scrambling.

Valentine's Day — the heart-shaped behemoth of a holiday — is almost upon us, and with it comes the stress of finding someone to spend those love-filled 24 hours with.

If you don't, you'll end up resorting to a night in under the covers with rom coms and a week's worth of Seamless.

But the big question is, why would you resort to that? What makes you think crying into a tub of ice cream is your only option as a singleton on Valentine's Day?

Put the fucking spoon down. This is not the time to be a whiny drama queen. Because why sulk when you can suck face (amongst other things) instead?

According to Elite Daily Valentine's Day survey, 30 percent of single women and 22 percent of single men would opt for a night out at a bar or club instead of sulking at home on February 14.

Clearly, they've made the right choice.

You may not find everlasting love there, but odds are, you can at least get yourself laid if you go out.

Mushy couples are going to be sharing an overpriced, candlelit dinner at the fanciest restaurants in town. That means the patrons filling up big dance floors and rows of barstools are other single, slightly sad, and extremely horny individuals like yourself.

Mushy couples are going to be sharing an overpriced, candlelit dinner at the fanciest restaurants in town. That means the patrons filling up big dance floors and rows of barstools are other single, slightly sad, and extremely horny individuals like yourself.

Take advantage of that.

"If you're out and about, you will surely find singles mixing it up while looking for opportunities to hook up,” says certified sex therapist Dr. Kat Van Kirk.

She continues,

It's the one night of the year that you know that love/sex is on everyone's mind so getting a hook up can be infinitely easier. Plus, people are more likely to give themselves permission to do things they normally wouldn't -- like hopping into bed with someone new.

Hear that? Someone new! That could easily be you she's referring to.

February 14 is also unique because it's the one night when you are gifted with the power of mind reading. As you float your way through your favorite dive bar, everyone you pass is thinking the same exact thoughts: They want to drink, they want to have fun and they want to fuck.

It's as simple as that.

One woman essentially thinks of the holiday as a sexual free pass.

"It's so easy to get laid on Valentine's Day because you have plenty to drink with your friends and the night is just like a freebie," said Ashley, 31.

"It's the one night where the playing field is pretty even and everyone's in the same boat. No one out drunk on Valentine's Day is looking for a love connection."

Instead, they're looking to get laid.

Look, as you scroll through a flood of mushy, couple photos on Instagram, it's OK to feel a little bummed on this day.

I've been there. You yearn to be have what some of your friends may have. And having someone to care about is certainly a good feeling, for sure. It happens.

But Valentine's Day is not the night to wallow in self-pity.

Now, the only difference between you and that lonely person perusing up and down the candy aisle at Rite Aid is you're not shoving your face with chocolate tonight.

You're going out and having sex. So live. It. Up.

Throw caution to the wind and throw your pants to the ground. You're not the only person looking for sex tonight.

Besides, everyone knows it's better to wait until February 15 to buy candy when all that sugary shit's on sale anyway.