Relationships

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Being Coupled-Up On Valentine's Day

by Ashley Fern

You would think being in a relationship on Valentine's Day would be a walk in the park. Sadly, that's not the case, and those who believe this to be true are probably single.

There's a lot of pressure you wouldn't even think of... gifts or no gifts? Dinner or no dinner? How long do you date before you have to give a card? How do you sign off on the card?

Are you expected to drop $80 or more on lingerie that you will probably only be wearing for a minute and a half?

F*ck you Hallmark for all of the unrealistic expectations you give billions of people. I blame you for encouraging and promoting the ridiculousness that is draining my bank account dry.

I can't even afford takeout sushi, now I'm expected to go halfsies on a $75 prix fixe meal? Whatever happened to someone's presence being a present?

Yup, you heard it -- the struggle is real and, today, it's going to be broken down for you.

Going out over the weekend

The Good: You've actually got plans.

The Bad: You've got to put pants on and leave the house.

The Ugly: One of you will get pissed about something because a night out always involves heavy drinking.

Staying in

The Good: You don't have to put any effort into your appearance.

The Bad: You don't feel like you have to put any effort into your appearance.

The Ugly: You.

The status of your bank account

The Good: There's a solid chance he is taking care of the entire bill.

The Bad: You over ordered every course.

The Ugly: He's not footing the whole bill and you didn't come prepared.

The gift

The Good: You're getting a gift.

The Bad: You have to pretend to like whatever it is.

The Ugly: You didn't get him sh*t.

Pressure to make plans

The Good: You have someone to make plans with!

The Bad: Anything attached to expectations will result in disappointment.

The Ugly: You waited until the last minute and your dinner reservation is at 11 pm.

Dinner

The Good: You're eating.

The Bad: You're eating too much.

The Ugly: You're eating your food and his.

Duration of relationship

The Good: You finally have a date for Valentine's Day.

The Bad: You've only been dating two months and have no idea how to celebrate.

The Ugly: You show up empty-handed and he shows up with a bouquet of roses.

Your single friends

The Good: You don't have to have a pity party with them.

The Bad: They f*cking hate you.

The Ugly: They won't invite you to anything going on during the weekend.

Sex

The Good: You know you are guaranteed a romp in the sack.

The Bad: You know exactly what it's going to be like.

The Ugly: You both pass out immediately before round two.

Social media

The Good: You're going to get a nice dinner picture in any filter.

The Bad: He fails to acknowledge it in any capacity.

The Ugly: When he pic stitches 13 pictures of the two of you over the past three years.

Your parents

The Good: Your mom thinks you found love.

The Bad: Your dad knows you're getting f*cked.

The Ugly: Your dad's probably f*cking your mom.

The implications

The Good: It takes your relationship to the next level.

The Bad: It's taking it to a level you did not anticipate.

The Ugly: He runs for the hills after dinner and you run in the complete opposite direction.

Alcohol

The Good: You share a romantic bottle of wine at dinner.

The Bad: You pass out before you have sex.

The Ugly: He throws up at the restaurant.

Prix fixe dinner menu

The Good: The decision is essentially made for you.

The Bad: You are paying up the ass for foods you typically would never order.

The Ugly: Alcohol is never included.

The chocolate

The Good: You get an excuse to eat chocolate.

The Bad: You eat the entire chocolate box.

The Ugly: You look terrible when you take your clothes off.

The ex

The Good: Your new boyfriend is better than your ex.

The Bad: His new girlfriend is hotter than you are.

The Ugly: You wake up to your drunk conversation with him when you should've been making out with your boyfriend.

The memory

The Good: Everything goes exactly the way you planned it.

The Bad: Nothing ever goes as planned.

The Ugly: You two drink so much at dinner you end getting matching tattoos before midnight and break up the following morning.

Hot Takes & Real Talk on Love and Dating
Whether you're ghosting or going deep, our daily scoop covers love lives, modern intimacy, and everything in between.
By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy