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7 Ways You're Lowering Your Sex Drive And How To Stop Yourself From Doing It

If you're not having sex as much as you would like, you may be unintentionally doing some things that are killing your sex life.

While we'd all like to think that sex is spontaneous fun all the time, the truth is, how we treat our bodies and our minds every day makes a big impact on how much we want to have sex. Not only that, but how we treat our relationships outside the bedroom also plays a big part in determining how much sex we're having.

There are a few things we do on a daily basis that make a huge difference to our sex life — things we might not even realize are important!

If you feel like your sex life isn't up to par lately, read on to find out the seven things you may be doing that are killing it:

1. You're Not Working Out

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If you find your sex life isn't where you want it, try working some daily exercise into your schedule.

Thomas Edwards, relationship expert and founder of The Professional Wingman, says keeping your body in shape is one of the best things you can do for your sex life. If you aren't working out, you may be struggling with a low libido, low energy, and low stamina.

"Your body is the temple that will make sex great, so it's most important to exercise and keep your body in decent cardiovascular shape," he says.

Exercising on a daily basis will not only help your heart and lungs stay in great shape for sex, it'll also make you feel sexier. When you're taking care of your body and you feel good, that'll come through in your relationship.

Exercise also makes us feel happier overall, which can make a big difference in how much we want sex.

2. You're Not Eating Properly

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Just like exercise, eating properly is something we can all do to help improve our sex lives, as well as our overall health.

Edwards says things like sugar, alcohol, and caffeine are total sex-drive killers. These can make you feel sluggish and tired if they're a regular part of your diet.

Eating well includes working whole foods, like fresh fruit and vegetables, into your diet on a very regular basis. You should also avoid the things that don't work for your body and the things known to cause problems for everyone, like dairy, which can ruin your libido and throw your hormones out of whack.

3. You're Not Sleeping Enough

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Not sleeping enough is just as bad as not working out and not eating properly. These are all things that make it harder for your body to operate on a day-to-day basis, so of course they'll also make it harder to want to have sex.

Most of us don't get the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep per night, but if you can start trying to up the amount of sleep you get, it'll make a big difference to your sex life.

When you're not getting enough sleep, you're walking around at less than 100 percent operating capacity: Your brain is foggy, your body feels overwhelmed, and you can't think about anything but catching some more zzz's.

Making better sleep a priority won't just make you feel better at work, it'll make you feel more alive and ready to get wild in the sheets with your partner more often.

4. Your Environment Is Not Inviting

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Although it may sound weird, having a clean and inviting sexual environment will make it a lot easier for you and your partner to want to get between the sheets.

Edwards says don't take anything too seriously, but have a set-up that will make both of you get in the mood: "Make sure to have your environment 'sex-ready' by having clean sheets and other things that will make you and your partner more relaxed, such as scented candles and even a bedroom playlist (yes, I'm serious)."

Creating a place where you like having sex will not only make you want it more, it'll probably make it happen more.

5. You Don't Have Enough Distance From Your Partner

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It may sound counterintuitive, but the truth is, having too much closeness in your relationship can mean that your sex life is drying up.

Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist and relationship expert, says that when people get too comfortable in their relationships, the sexual tension goes away. When you live together, it's even harder to keep this distance.

To combat the problem, make an effort to remind yourself of the sexuality and romance between you: "It can be important to remind each other that you are also sexual as well as domestic partners. Little reminders like a flirty text, or sensual massage, or trying something new, like Pillow App for couples, can help to remind each other that the spark is still there."

It's not a very complicated problem, it's just one that requires trying a little harder. "In long-term relationships, we can often and easily forget that we need to make a bit of effort for each other," she says.

6. You're Not Communicating With Your Partner

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Even if we don't like to admit it, the truth is that how our relationship is going outside the bedroom can really impact how it goes inside the bedroom.

Not communicating well in your relationship not only means that you and your partner likely aren't connecting as you would like, it also means that you are not comfortable really talking to each other. And in sex, one of the most important things to get your needs met is communication.

If you feel like you aren't having sex as much as you'd like and you suspect communication with your partner could use some improvement, the best thing you can do is work on your relationship as a whole. Find ways to love each other outside the bedroom to strengthen your connection so that you can then start to improve your sex life.

7.  You Don't Know Your Body

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Edwards says one of the best things we can do for our sex life is to know our own bodies.

Although you may be shaking your head, Edwards believes that truly knowing your body will make you more aware of what you like and what you don't like, as well as more comfortable in general.

"Believe it or not, masturbating is the best way to truly know what you like, how you like it, and most importantly, how long you can like it," says Edwards. "It'll help you learn to communicate better in bed (which will be great for your partner) and it's also good for your health — your heart, immune system, and mood."

If you find that your sex life just isn't where you want it to be, you may be doing one of these seven things. Luckily, there are ways to start fixing your daily habits, so you can start having a lot more sex!