Believing In Soulmates Hurts Your Sex Life, Science Says
All this time, desperately searching for "the one" or an immediate sexual connection may actually be what's causing your sex life to be so rocky.
That means bringing a shiny new dildo into play won't fix things in the bedroom. Instead, it's how you approach finding love that'll make your sex life that much greater.
The research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that those who believe love and sex are things that can and should be worked on over time feel happier with their sex lives in comparison to those who believe in immediate, perfect connections.
To uncover this information, the Canadian scientists from the University of Toronto and Dalhousie University conducted six different studies to find out what affected a couple's relationship and their happiness with their sex life.
Scientists asked several pairs of partners — ranging from those who lived under one roof to college students to those who just had a baby — questions meant to hint at their beliefs about soulmates (sexual soulmates) and growing together as a couple (sexual growth).
They found that those who agreed with the idea of sexual growth reported they were much more content in their relationship and in their sex lives.
Researchers believe this could be due to the fact that those seeking a soulmate tend to view any slight disruption in their relationship as a sign things won't work out because they're not "meant to be."
On the other hand, those who believed in sexual growth likely understood that a small bump in the road didn't mean everything was doomed.
If a problem with your true love arises, then maybe you aren't meant to be lovers after all. These types of people aren't looking to work on things, and in turn, have a lower satisfaction rate when it comes to their relationship and sex life.
The researchers stated, “Individuals high in sexual destiny beliefs think that the quality of their sex life will predict their relationship success, meaning they use their sexual relationship as a barometer for how their overall relationship is functioning.”
Basically, a relationship considered to be in good shape is one that involves both people working together on any issues that arise, sexual or otherwise, according to the scientists.
So, next time you're out on the prowl, looking for your soulmate, stop yourself. Sure, believing in destiny is great and all, but you should not let the idea of finding "the one" get in the way of working for true love.
Just because things aren't perfect with someone, doesn't mean they're not meant to be.
A little bit of effort will go a long way.