Why Being Picky Is The Only Way To Find Your Soulmate

by Alexa Mellardo

When it comes to dating, I'm simultaneously blessed and plagued with being picky AF.

I've dated players, and I've dated nice, good guys.

I've also dated the in-between dudes who weren't exactly masters at the game. They didn't know how to make a confident decision once they rolled the dice. Therefore, they got the boot.

Each guy has been an awesome learning experience.

Dating the players of the world only makes you appreciate the good guys that come along so much more.

I've also discovered I can't help but be a tad picky with the guys I date.

If I know deep down I'm not super into someone, all of their faults consistently amplify until I have to cut the ties.

For all of my fellow picky gals out there, you're not alone… and you'll most likely end up benefiting from your choosy habits.

Here's why being picky is the only way to find your soulmate:

You're a dreamer, hopeless romantic and firm believer in destiny.

E.L. James once said, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”

The right guy you're meant to be with is chilling out there somewhere in the world. But before you get to him, you'll have to weed out any “frogs” along the way. None of them are meant to be the OG prince in your fairytale, and you know that.

I'm the first to admit at times I question if I'm being too picky and not cutting the guy any slack whatsoever.

Then I tell myself it's because I'm a confident girl who knows what I want in the world.

I strive for perfection in many aspects of my life, and I always stand by the decisions I make. If I'm not crazy into him, it's time to move on.

There's no use in stringing someone along if you aren't right for each other.

It's extremely hurtful, rude, and also holding you back from meeting your true soulmate. Cut those ties before you're in too deep.

You won't settle for someone just because you don't want to be alone.

Settling is not the way love works.

I would rather be picky than end up unhappy settling for someone just for the sake of having him as a security blanket.

This is unfair on both ends. You certainly deserve better than that, and so does he.

Writing for Psychology Today, therapist Rom Brafman PhD, highlighted the benefits of being a picky person when it comes to relationships.

He wrote,

Instead of trying to find someone who's going to "work," you're searching for someone who's going to mesmerize you. And if you can get into that spirit, the process itself of finding that person becomes exciting in its own way.

Taking the risk of breaking it off with someone to find your soulmate outweighs the result of staying with someone because he's “safe.” And we all know taking a risk can be such an enticing rush.

The bottom line is you can be picky, but know when it's time to cut yourself and the guy some slack.

You have certain standards you want your guy to meet, but you also want to keep an open mind.

Not all categories are as clear cut as the ones you've set for yourself, and we all know looks can be deceiving.