Jovo Jovanovic

How To Have A Better Orgasm By Talking To Your Boyfriend

Have trouble orgasming? Never had an orgasm? Wondering what all the fuss is about? Where even IS your vagina?

You aren't alone. Raven blew bachelor Nick's and America's minds by confessing on national television she's never visited O-town, despite having had a previous boyfriend who could have helped get her there.

Hate to say it, but girl is missing out!

If you're in the same boat and don't know how to talk about orgasms with your boyfriend, don't panic. Sure sure, you want to spare his ego and feelings, but there are a few easy, NBD ways to address the situation and the payoff will be SO worth it.

Likely, he'll jump at the challenge, and the more honest you can be, the quicker you'll be able to fly into bliss.

Here is how you can talk to your boyfriend about never having an orgasm.

Don't be weird about it.

The more of a big deal you make it, the bigger of a deal it becomes.

Somewhere, we were taught there are certain things that are taboo to talk about with our partners and that it is more important to maintain an IMAGE of perfect sexual health than to actually HAVE perfect sexual health.

Just be cool about it, and try putting on a tone that says, "We are talking about the weather," but really, you are talking about your orgasms.

If you are worried about hurting his feelings, you can always shift the "blame" onto yourself and say something along the lines of, "Hey — so it's always been difficult for me to reach an orgasm. I'd love to get to the bottom of it with you."

Now, he feels like the solution instead of the problem. 

Keep the convo simple.

Try not to over-complicate it and dump a million thoughts on him at once while he has a boner and can only think with one brain at a time.

"OK, so here is the thing and it's not a big deal, but I just wanted to run it by you but like, nobody panic but, um, I like, don't orgasm or whatever, so..." is NOT a convo anyone is trying to have.

In fact, try to bring it up casually when you AREN'T about to have sex, so there is time to marinate and he doesn't feel like its a super-pressing concern.

Then, when it's go-time, you can say something like, "Remember how I mentioned getting to the finish line can be tricky for me? Let's try to get there together now!"

Hopefully, all he'll hear is "I get to have sex" and will have enough distance between the convo about how you DON'T finish so the risk of combining anxiety with pleasure is moot.

Bring your own ideas.

Help a brother out! You already know what ISN'T working, so try exploring some things that might!

Suggest positions, toys or guide him to spots you've found work for you when you're flying the pleasure plane solo. If you're nervous to be that direct or forward, you can always talk with your hands and physically lead him to what feels good!

Also, opening up the orgasm dialogue before jumping in bed might make this convo transition smoother and less abrupt.

Women's bodies are confusing, and trust me, he will appreciate the extra help!

Then, you can make it sound like it's all his discovery if you're worried about keeping his ego boosted.

Be patient.

Look, it's not his fault he has no map to your O-zone. It's biology. The important thing is that you have opened up the communication pathway and there is room to continue talking when things aren't right.

If it really isn't sticking, then it's OK to take a more direct approach. Sit down over wine or coffee, and be direct. You aren't orgasming, and you want to take your sex life to the next level.

If he isn't on board, can't handle it or freaks out, time to move on, girl. You deserve to get yours, so go get it!