Javier Díez

Why Settling Is Lonelier Than Staying Single

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There are a million reasons people choose to be together, and the fear of being alone is way, way up there.

Due to the dramatic and very millennial anxiety of dying alone, people sometimes find themselves in relationships they never intended to be in in the first place and settling for a partner they would not choose for themselves otherwise.

Being in a lackluster relationship can be extremely isolating and lonely, leaving you with few people to talk to and the desire to connect even more deeply than if you were single.

Here is why it is more lonely to settle for someone you don't truly love than to just stay single.

You miss out on the life you want.

First things absolutely first, you don't need anyone else to make you happy.

Even if society, your parents, TV or movies might make you believe everyone ultimately is on a path to finding a partner, that is definitely not the case, nor is it a requirement for being a human or the price of admission into adulthood.

By committing to someone you don't truly care for, you're limiting the awesome life you could be living and simultaneously limiting theirs, leaving you perpetually aching for something more.

Living a lie is a buzz kill. And if you can't be your true self with your significant other, you're left stifling your true desires and keeping deep, important, emotional needs a secret.

Finding a partner is not a requirement to being human, nor is it the price of admission into adulthood.

You sacrifice meaningful companionship.

If you're single, you have the freedom to move in an out of potential partners and try on as many different styles of relationships you want.

In contrast, by settling, your days are spent with a person you can't connect in any meaningful way.

Companionship should be a CHOICE, not a responsibility. The good reasons people shack up are because they feel their lives are better, more fulfilled and complete together.

If you find your relationship is energy-sucking or feels more like a chore, you're naturally going to build resentment and want out.

Companionship should be a CHOICE, not a responsibility.

You limit your social circle to people you don't care about.

With significant others comes significant other's peoplefriends, family, co-workers, the works.

If you aren't invested in your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's going to be really hard to become invested in their extended social circle, leaving you alone in your brain at dinner parties, trivia nights or happy hours.

If you're single, again, everything is up to you! If you're ready to leave a party, guess what? You get to leave. If you want to talk to 20 strangers at a bar, you get to talk to 20 strangers at a bar without leaving your partner in the dust or hurting anyone's feelings.

The social opportunities as a single person are endless, giving you plenty of fertile ground to build lasting friendships and the freedom of having no strings attached if you aren't hitting it off.

You sabotage your future.

How is this going to end? With a boring life, in a boring place, with a boring person you are bored to be with?

Living out someone else's idea of "the dream" is incredibly isolating and can leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled in both obvious and exciting ways.

Attaching yourself to someone else's journey limits your possibilities, and if you don't really want to be on the ride, you will spend the rest of your life wishing you could get off.

If you're single, the world is LEGIT your oyster and full of a wide variety of happily ever afters.

Being in a relationship does not = happily ever after. It just equals the sum of the two people in it.

Being in a relationship does not = happily ever after. It just equals the sum of the two people in it.

If you find yourself stuck, faking or lying in your relationship, you may ultimately end up much more lonely than if you stayed single with your arms wide open for all the world has to offer.