As a senior at a large university, I've come to find that life as an undergrad is supposed to be messy, complicated and constantly changing.
Thinking about commitment and settling down will only distract from the four short years we have to figure out what the hell we want to do with our lives.
College should be about making mistakes and most importantly, enjoying oneself. Living on campus among 16,000 undergrads has allowed me to observe my fair share of attempted relationships and has ultimately resulted in my decision to stop looking for love.
Of course, it isn't always easy being around friends who, as they claim, are in loving, long-term relationships. As any 20-year-old girl will admit, there are moments when I wish I had that one person I could text nonsense to all day and call to sleepover in the middle of the night.
Having a boyfriend is comfortable and familiar, but it isn't always a solution. With patience and many of my own mistakes, I've learned to be happy with my status as a single girl, which in turn, has benefited me in a number of different ways.
After entering my freshman year with a love-thirsty mindset, all I really figured out was that being desperate led me to be attracted to all the wrong guys. This is why I've found that keeping a healthy, single girl state of mind trumps an intentional and sometimes desperate search for love.
Here's why I've found that staying single in college can actually be a wonderful thing:
You Have Four Years To Get Everything Out Of Your System
The hookups, the one-night stands and oh yeah, that one guy you met on Tinder that only your very best friend knows about. Your undergraduate years are like a hall pass for this kind of behavior. In college, it's okay to be a little bit wild and occasionally sloppy because five years down the road, it's no longer acceptable to act this way.
If your plan for the future involves marriage or kids, it's seriously best to release your slightly immature tendencies early. By the time you are ready for a committed relationship, you won't look back or feel like you've missed out on anything. Ask any 30-year-old woman: Growing up fast is NOT recommended.
You'll Learn From Your Friends' Mistakes
Nothing quite turns off the idea of commitment like getting your sweater stained with your best friend's runny mascara. After hosting her teary eyes on your shoulder for hours and watching her devour a pint of Half Baked, a relationship will seem as desirable as gaining the Freshman 15.
You'll inevitably observe her little mistakes, like sleeping over his apartment every night and sending him moody text messages when she's jealous that he's around other girls.
After witnessing the outcome of these faulty errors, you'll learn that there will rarely be a happy ending to relationships that exist in a college setting.
You Won't Get Your Heart Broken
As cynical as it sounds, it’s true. You won't be regretful or feel like you've wasted your college years if your relationship unfortunately comes to an end. You'll get to be around guys and have fun without risking a devastation that you'll need to recover from later.
Remember, a bomb can't go off if you take away the oxygen.
Guys Will See You As More Than Just A "Hookup"
Let's face it: There's nothing worse than showing desperation when a guy starts to show interest in you. Likewise, the same works for men and there's nothing they love more than a challenge.
If you keep your standards high and are truly satisfied with being single, you'll get more respect from guys in return. In their minds, you'll move past the idea of a casual hookup and you'll simultaneously filter out all the sleaze balls looking for nothing more than a temporary piece of ass.
You'll Feel More Confident Knowing It's Your Decision
There's nothing worse than being a single girl who hates being single. When you're not looking for a relationship by choice, it's seen as sexy, especially to yourself. You'll pay less attention to the guys you know aren't right for you and you'll feel better about knowing the difference.
Having this mindset will lead you to have higher standards, and you'll know when the right person comes along.
So, take those four years as an undergrad and use it to your advantage.
I've learned through experience that great things come when you stop looking for them, and you can have a hell of a good time in between.
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