The Emotional Roller Coaster Of Dumping Your Boyfriend
Breaking up with someone can be almost as difficult as being broken up with.
Just kidding, being dumped definitely sucks way more, but still.
Making the decision can feel scary, and there is something really comforting about staying in a familiar situation with someone you've — at the very least — grown used to having around or even once loved.
It can be an emotional, rocky roller coaster, full of doubt and uncertainty.
Based on, like, one incidence of personal experience, plus years of girl talk, here's what it's like when you plan to dump your boyfriend:
1. Am I even, like, happy?
2. Ugh, I think I'm unhappy. Oh, no.
3. Should I break up with him? That sounds EXHAUSTING.
4. Better just date him for three more months and see if things change.
5. Shit. Things haven't changed.
6. Let me make a list of all the pros and cons and list them all out at brunch with my girlfriends.
Better just date him for three more months and see if things change.
7. Sounds like they think I should break up with him. Maybe I'll try out a feeler convo tonight.
8. "Hey babe, so how do you... like... feel... about stuff?"
9. Well, THAT didn't work.
10. Maybe if I'm just an extra-awful girlfriend, HE'LL break up with ME.
11. And then, I can say, "No, YOU'RE an asshole!"
12. Ugh, I'm an asshole.
13. But he's nice. And he isn't dirty. And he isn't stupid. And my mom likes him. And he's good with kids. And he has a fine job. And he doesn't treat me poorly or anything. There just isn't a spark-spark. Oh, well, better just drink this wine and think on it some more.
14. Woops. Didn't mean to have awesome, drunk sex with him... but that was great?
15. He seems so happy. Maybe I won't break up with him.
16. I don't think I'm going to do it.
Oh, well, better just drink this wine and think on it some more.
17. WOW, am I bored?
18. OK, that's it. I'm doing it.
19. But wait. His birthday is next week, and then, it's the holiday season, and then, it's practically Valentine's Day, which is basically Easter, so I better wait until the summer to do it... but AFTER the Fourth of July.
20. "Have a great day, babe, love you!" (No, I don't.)
21. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. YOU ARE A GROWNUP. YOU CAN DO THIS.
22. OK, here it goes: "I think we need to break up." (Please don't be sad. Please don't be sad. Please don't be sad.)
23. Why am I crying?! I WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU.
24. Phew. That was hard, but we're both better off for it.
25. Hm... I didn't realize how much stuff I had of his. Does he really have to take back ALL of his sweatshirts?
26. It's fine. I'm a new woman. HERE I COME, WORLD. WATCH OUT.
27. God, being single is awful.
God, being single is awful.
28. Dating apps are stupid.
29. Bars are miserable.
30. Men everywhere are terrible.
31. I'm so soul-crushingly lonely.
32. Maybe I'll just text my ex and see what he's doing...
33. "Hey... u up?"