We Millennials have a lot going for us, in the sense that it has never been easier to get stoned, and it has never been easier to get laid.
In fact, you can actually download an app that will tell you which marijuana strains are perfect for sex (and where to buy them), and then another app (or 50) that will help you find anonymous sex.
In the words of one of our most influential cultural icons,
What a time to be alive!
The downside to this, unfortunately, is for a lot of Millennials, sex can be awkward and generally not pleasurable, at least at first.
Oftentimes, there is a fear of being judged for your fetishes ("how do you feel about My Little Pony?"), a feeling of inadequacy ("I swear this has never happened before!") or body insecurities ("so you're going to leave the light on?!?").
Social media exacerbates these fears, and the term “viral” evokes an entirely different sexual fear these days than it did for our parents.
Your poor performance or just plain dirty deeds can be put on blast for the world to see instantaneously, and we all know full well they will live on in Internet infamy forever, which leads most of us to seek out substance comfort.
In fact, according to a University of Illinois survey, 65 percent of people reported alcohol or drugs being involved in their most recent sexual encounters. On top of that, 49 percent of men and 38 percent of women reported having sex was a direct result of their drinking.
What's interesting is with marijuana becoming not only more socially acceptable, but also downright legal in a large part of the country, many of us are turning to marijuana instead of alcohol to enhance or facilitate our sexual experiences.
Forty-eight percent of Americans admit to having used marijuana at least once in their lifetimes, which is rapidly catching up to the 67 percent of Americans who admit to enjoying an alcoholic beverage every once in a while at bare minimum.
This got me thinking: Marijuana and booze are making people horny.
The question is, which is the better option when it comes to making the most out of your sexual experience?
Drunk Pro: If it's terrible, you have an obvious excuse.
Let's be honest: If your sex life is anything like mine, 60 percent of the time, this happens all the time.
Drunk Pro: It leads to more one-night stands.
Is this really a pro? To some, casual intercourse certainly is!
Stoned Pro: If it's mind-blowing, you can take all of the credit.
Not to mention, you're going to remember every part of it. We all know dealing with the bad times makes you want to cherish the good times even more, which includes remembering who they were with!
Stoned Pro: Weed makes women feel downright sexy.
By both reading posts on the Internet and referencing numerous girl talks I've had throughout my life, marijuana makes ladies feel downright sexy.
It allows us to lower our inhibitions, try new things and feel good about our bodies without the feeling of post-party depression (PPD) or judgment the next day.
Drunk Con: The orgasms aren't as intense as they are when you're high.
Speaking of orgasms, at least you can have one stoned!
Alcohol dulls nerve endings, making orgasms for both males and females something of a holy grail.
Tough blow, booze.
Drunk Con: Alcohol blurs the lines of consent.
I don't want to bring anyone down with a serious note, but it is certainly worth mentioning.
Stoned Pro: Stoned sex is not sloppy like drunk sex.
Odds are in your favor that you will not discharge unwanted bodily fluids at any inappropriate times.
You know what I mean!
Stoned Pro: There are plenty of THC-related products to experiment with.
Strains like Sexxpot exist, which are specifically engineered to enhance your sexual experience -- not to mention, products like Foria's THC-infused lubricant. Oh, marijuana!
Stoned Pro: You're typically coherent enough to make smart decisions.
Being self-aware enough to ensure you are practicing safe sex is key!
Stoned Pro: The fun feels like it lasts a lot longer.
Smoking reefer often leads to a sense of slowed time, so length of orgasm could seem much longer than it actually is.
Annndd, by technical knockout, the winner is HIGH SEX!
I could go on for days, but I think it's pretty obvious.
More often than not, the best sexual experiences are the stoned sexual experiences. All the fun, none of the stress -- not to mention, no hangover.
This post was originally written by Rebecca Hourselt for Stoned Girls.