Most of the time you spend with your partner is probably going to involve some form of communication. Whether you're trying to get your joint schedule for the week solidified, or you're having intense conversations about things going on in your relationship — how you and your partner talk to each other can make a big difference in the way your partnership plays out in the long run. That's why knowing how to spot the red flags your partner talks to you in an unhealthy way is crucial.
Having differing communication styles is part of what makes talking with different people so interesting. Since opposites often attract, it's likely that you could end up dating someone who doesn't have the same communication style as you do. But there is a difference between a partner whose communication style clashes with yours, and a partner who disregards your feelings and verbally lashes out at you on the regular. Depending on the nature of your relationship, it may be possible to have a conversation with your partner about why the way they talk to you is so unacceptable. But it's important to tread carefully when broaching the subject, especially if they’ve ever been abusive in any way. If that’s the case, remember you are not alone, and there are resources you can turn to for help.
However, if you believe the relationship is salvageable and you want to have a conversation with your partner, prepare your talking points in advance. “Try not to accuse or blame your partner, as that will only confound your efforts to establish a healthy flow of communication," NYC relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. "Rather, seek to inform them of how their style of communication is affecting you."
Below, four red flags your partner talks to you in an unhealthy way, and how to address it with them.
There's no such thing as perfection when it comes to relationships. We all make mistakes and have our own unique set of weaknesses we're working through. If communication is something that could be improved in your relationship, then calmly letting your partner know how you feel is a great way to start. Once you've alerted them to the communication issue, Winter also suggests giving your partner a brief example of an alternative way they could have gotten their message across that would work better for you.
Everyone deserves to be spoken to in a respectful manner. If you feel like your partner isn't doing that, or won't even talk to you about the possibility of changing, remember that you deserve the very best. Communication is vital to the health of a relationship, so it might be a good idea to make that a relationship priority.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org. You can also text "loveis" to 866-331-9474, or call LoveisRespect at 1-866-331-9474.