40 Questions You Need to Ask Your Bestie's New Partner To Suss 'Em Out

Meeting anyone for the first time can be kinda awkward. It’s always tempting to get down to the nitty-gritty right away, but because you don’t know them (and they don’t know you), you don’t want to come on too strong — especially if the person in question is your bestie’s new boo. But even if it’s your first time meeting them, there are certain important questions to ask your best friend’s boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner that will tell you everything you need to know about them... for now, at least.

As online dating expert Julie Spira previously told Elite Daily, the beginning of any relationship — including your relationship with your bestie’s SO — should be more about getting to know the person than figuring out whether they’re The One. “I believe you should look at it in the same way as if you were going on a first date with someone,” she said. “Keep it light and simple. Ask questions about where they grew up, where they went to school, what type of workout they like to do, how they like their job, and be as kind and non-threatening as possible.” Here are questions that will help you get to know your friend’s main squeeze.

Questions About Their Current Situation

Without being too nosy, questions about what your friend’s partner does and how they’re living can potentially help you suss out whether their lifestyle is compatible with your friend’s. Here are a few questions to ask your sister’s girlfriend or roommate’s new boyfriend that can tell you whether they are in the same stage of life as your bestie.

• What do you do for a living? Do you truly enjoy your job?
• Are you a morning person or a night owl?
• What are your friends like?
• Who do you live with?
• What’s your ideal way to spend a Saturday?
• What’s your zodiac sign?
• Do you know your love language?
• Would you describe yourself as introverted or extroverted?
• What do you think people often don’t understand about you?
• How’s your current work/life balance?

Questions About Their Past

By knowing about someone’s family and what their childhood was like, you can learn so much about their personal values (all without asking pointed questions about them as an individual). Use these questions to ask your sister’s boyfriend about their life growing up to get a better sense of who they are and where they come from.

• Where did you grow up?
• What is your family like?
• Do you have any siblings?
• What was your dream job growing up?
• How often do you see your family, if ever?
• What one word would your family use to describe you?
• Were you single for long before meeting my friend?
• What’s a lesson you learned from your last relationship?

Questions About Your Friend

A great way to bond with your BFF’s new partner is to try and see your friend through their eyes. Do this by asking questions about their relationship so you can know exactly what this new SO sees in your bestie. These questions to ask your friend’s girlfriend can help you authentically understand what makes their relationship so unique.

• What’s your favorite thing about dating my friend?
• What’s your least favorite thing about dating my friend?
• What was the first thing you noticed about my friend?
• What was the best date you’ve gone on with my friend?
• What’s the most embarrassing thing my friend has done in front of you?
• What are some things that you and my friend have in common?
• What’s your favorite activity to do with my friend?
• What’s the first thing you noticed about my friend that wasn’t physical?
• Tell me the story about how you met my friend.
• What’s something about my friend that most people don’t know?
• Do you like the person you become with my friend? Do you feel like your most authentic self?
• If you could travel anywhere with my friend, where do you think they’d like to go?
• Was it easy to commit to a relationship with my friend?

Questions About Their Preferences

While these questions are mostly for fun, knowing someone’s tastes can also give you a pretty good sense of whether they’re a match for your friend. Ask these questions to figure out what exactly makes them tick. These questions to ask your brother’s boyfriend can support you in getting to know them as an individual.

• What’s your favorite movie?
• Who’s your favorite musical artist?
• What TV show are you watching right now, if any?
• How often do you use social media, if at all?
• What is your favorite way to relax?
• Are you a texting or phone call person?
• Are you a breakfast or lunch type of person?
• Do you prefer the Marvel or DC Universe?
• TikTok or Instagram?

If this person is a good fit for your bestie, then you’ll have all the time in the world to get to know them. But at least these questions will help you get started.

Experts:

Julie Spira, online dating expert